Dear Audrey,

One day, when you're older, you might perhaps look at photos of yourself at age 2.5(ish) and wonder why on earth I let you out of the house wearing the same outfit for days on end. Or why I let you out of the house wearing pajamas. Repeatedly. Or you might wonder why I never did anything fun with your hair.

Well. LET ME TELL YOU. You are very headstrong. And stubborn. Now, you would think that I, as a 34-year-old woman, would be able to exert my will upon you, a 2-year-old. You would be wrong. I mean, I suppose I COULD but it frankly is not worth the effort. I have to choose my battles. I would rather you brush your teeth than your hair. I would rather you wear something than nothing. I would rather you not scream for 10 minutes while flailing on the floor because I told you that you needed a ponytail. (Yeah. That happened.) I have oftentimes threatened to cut your hair off and get you the same haircut as Patrick. You see this as the empty threat that it is and tell me that you will brush your hair BY YOURSELF. Then you get the brush stuck in your hair. Lately, you have let me brush your hair and put it in Elsa or Anna braids. This is only because your other option is a ponytail or pigtails which you hate. As you do barrettes. And headbands.

Are you sensing a theme? I am not exaggerating. 

So far, the worst offenders have been the gray boots and the red pants. They gray boots started off well. They were half off at Old Navy, little knock-off Uggs with tiny cutout stars. Super cute. And you loved them, and I loved them and it was winter and your feet were warm and all was right with the world. There was just one problem. You ... did not like to wear socks with your boots. At first, this was not a problem. Until you did it enough that one day you kicked off your boots in the car and everyone dived for the buttons to roll down their windows. It was bad. I washed them. That helped for about two days. I washed them again and made you wear socks. That got a week. Finally I decided enough was enough. You loved the boots and would wear them every day but ... it was bad. So I threw them away. AND YOU FOUND THEM, AND PULLED THEM OUT OF THE TRASH. After another week, I got smarter and threw them out on trash day. Success!

The issue with the red pants was a different one. You wanted to wear them every day. With every thing. That didn't match. They were red fleecy pants which were perfectly serviceable but which did not look cute under dresses. This did not deter you. I could not in good conscience tell you not to wear them, I mean, that would have been reinforcing gender roles or something -- who cares if they're cute -- but it drove me crazy. CRAZY. You even tried to wear them to your Easter pictures. This finally was solved when the weather got warmer.

But you still didn't brush your hair.

So that, Audrey, is why you look like a little ragamuffin in pictures. IT IS NOT MY FAULT.

Love,
Mommy 

I just called to hear you breathing

aka "2014 in Review"

1. What did you do in 2014 that you’d never done before?
Rode the SkyWheel at Myrtle Beach.

2. Did you keep your New Year’s resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
I didn't make any because I never keep them. HOWEVER. I have let myself go. So I really need to lose weight. I know, I know.

3. Did anyone close to you give birth?
I feel like surely somebody had to, but ... not that I recall. But I know some people who will NEXT year!

4. Did anyone close to you die?
No.

5. What places did you visit?
Disney World/Orlando, FL. Myrtle Beach, SC. Boone, NC. Hershey, PA. Vergennes, VT. Fort Ticonderoga. The Strasburg Rail Road. All points between Creedmoor and Vermont and back again. Including New Jersey. That was AWFUL. We were planning to go to Williamsburg this Christmas season but that didn’t work out.

6. What would you like to have in 2015 that you lacked in 2014?
A bigger house. A shorter drive to get to Target. More savings. More money.

7. What dates from 2014 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
I still remember dates from the now-distant past, that I shouldn’t. IF I remembered any (which I don’t and won’t) it would be the day Patrick started kindergarten, except I’m not sure if that was Aug. 25^th. Or the 27^th. Or maybe the 28^th. See?

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
I took a road trip. With the children. And got really close with my neighborhood friends.

9. What was your biggest failure?
Letting myself go. Spending too much time reading Outlander and thinking about how dissimilar my life is. (HAAAAA.)

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?
I didn't but James hit our deductible and then some. (Sigh.)

11. What was the best thing you bought?
A smart phone? Oh no wait, I personally didn’t buy that. Um. Hmm. The Sherpa blanket from Costco. And I am rebuilding my childhood Cabbage Patch Kid collection vicariously through Audrey.

12. Whose behavior merited celebration?
The kids? We’ve all survived kindergarten so far.

13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?
Mine.

14. Where did most of your money go?
Bills bills bills. Medical bills. The house. Blah.

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?
Sarah and her family came and we got a beach house with them. Of course I knew she would be skinnier than me and I would feel like a fat cow and that tempered my excitement.

16. What song will always remind you of 2014?
Still on the Line. Tim McGraw. I think I bought two CDs the last two years and that was one of them. (The other was the Frozen soundtrack. Runner up song of the year is Let It Go because STILL.) Still on the Line reminds me of a couple of the songs from Set This Circus Down which is tied for my top album of all time (with Back Home Again) (don’t judge).

17. Compared to this time last year, are you:
a) happier or sadder? I'm probably trending toward sadder but not for any particular reason. Post-holiday funk? General worry about money? General worry about the state of the world? Don't know. And I'm not really sad or anything, purely talking comparatively.

b) thinner or fatter? Fatter. I need to start working out with my friends instead of eating and drinking with them.

c) richer or poorer? Poorer. We have too much debt. I don't actually know if we're poorer. I think about the same. We actually did pretty well contributing to 401ks and we refinanced the mortgage. We didn't spend our savings but I don't know that we added to it and I'm not going to go do the math in case we did not add to it because then I'd be depressed. We still have credit card debt and have added some medical debt. Boo.

18. What do you wish you’d done more of?
Being present. Writing emails to my far-away friends.

19. What do you wish you’d done less of?
Thinking about the past and people and things that I shouldn’t.

20. How did you spend Christmas in 2014?
We opened our presents at our house in the morning, then my parents (and Kevin from Boston!) came over in the afternoon. We also had breakfast sausage casserole after a one-year absence.

21. Did you fall in love in 2014?
No.

22. What was your favorite TV program?
I retroactively got into Once Upon a Time. I really like it.

23. What did you do for your birthday in 2014?
I have no idea.

24. What was the best book you read?
I am still re-reading the Outlander series. I LOVE THOSE BOOKS. I feel like there was something else.  

25. What did you want and get?
Audrey sleeps by herself in her bed and all the way through the night!

26. What did you want and not get?
New yoga pants. The credit card(s) paid off. A bathroom remodel. A new house. Fit.

27. What was your favorite film of this year?
I just today saw “Into the Woods” and since I can’t remember any other movies I might have gone to, that wins.

28. Did you make some new friends this year?
Not really but I got a lot closer to some friends.

29.What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
Winning the Powerball and not having to worry about money.

30. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2014?
Stretchy yoga pants. [Same as last year.] With boots. [New for this year!]

31. What kept you sane?
Chestnut praline lattes. And before that, almond lattes from Parker & Otis.

32. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
Would you judge me if I said Ben Roethlisberger? Of course you would. [Haha, 2010 FTW!] I think I’ve also said Ben Afflect before. He’s dreamy. If you want a new one, hmm. The Prince Charmings from OUAT and ITW. I know *others* would say Hook, and he is certainly hot but…

33. What political issue stirred you the most?
Ebola?

34. Who did you miss?
Who I always miss. Also, sometimes, my previous life. Not like I want it back, but man, those were some good times. [I have made no progress since 2010.] 

35. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2014.
Let it go. (HAHAHAHAHAHA. And this would be something to ASPIRE to, not something that I do.)

Audrey Likes Cole Slaw. And Greek Salad.

So I totally hijacked Audrey's two-year post to do a "What I Did On Summer Vacation" and I didn't even finish that, but I have been writing blog entries in my head at night to add to her update.

There is a restaurant in Durham, I have no idea if I've ever mentioned it here, Parker & Otis. They make amazing almond lattes. (Audrey always asks for a sip of my coffee. And won't give it back.) They also make really good pimiento cheese but that's neither here nor there. If you order a sandwich, it comes with a little bowl of cole slaw. It is really good. It has purple cabbage and no relish and it's not very heavy on the mayo. Audrey, some months ago, asked for a bite. I said, "Audrey, you can have a bite, but you probably won't like it." She took a bite. And then she wanted the rest. She still eats my cole slaw when we go there. Even if she has her own food. (I am pleased that she likes it -- though not that she takes mine -- but I am under no illusions. Two -year-old Patrick would eat labneh and tabbouleh. Five-year-old Patrick likes ... noodles and white cheese. And chicken nuggets, and happy meals with plain cheeseburgers. (Audrey likes the chicken nugget happy meals, and recently ate all her nuggets and all of Patrick's at Chick Fil A which I certainly can't blame her for, because those are so much better than McDonalds.))

Along those same lines, Audrey, despite having her own meal, wanted a bite of my Greek salad at Panera. I stupidly thought she wouldn't like the feta because I was a latecomer to feta. I didn't like the stuff until I was 25 or so but I have made up for that lately. Anyway, she loves it. She loves all the toddler stuff you'd expect, too, but those are the two that just are crazy to me. Neither child likes mushrooms, which makes me happy. :)

The other update I wanted to mention is that Audrey is in her big girl bed. Which belonged to Uncle Kevin first then Patrick. (Let's not think about that too much.) I know of people whose children (at least they claim) remained happily in the crib until age 3 or later. My kids, not so much. Audrey started climbing out regularly just before her second birthday. So I took off the front rails and converted it to the toddler bed. She refused to sleep in it. We already had the twin bed in her room for the future so I just put her in it. The future is now. Every night, she says, "Mommy sleep in my room" (which amusingly sounds like "Mommy pee in my room") or "Mommy lay down with me" which is still really sweet.

Just recently she has started coming up to me, hugging me, and saying "I love you too, Mommy" and then giving me kisses.

I love you too, Audrey. :) 

Update

I find all my recent complaints still hold true. That is, I want to write here but it seems like such a chore. Again, curses upon you, NaBloPoMo. Anyway. Six(ish) months have passed. Audrey turned 2. She just had her well child check up on August 1 because our stupid family medicine provider seems to need five weeks advance notice for an appointment. And once you get off the schedule at all, you're screwed. I won't even be 'allowed' to make an appointment until next August 1. But hey. I didn't come here to bitch about the doctor. I came to bitch about other things. Oh, wait. That'll be the NEXT blog entry.

So. Audrey, 2. Somewhere around 22 months I was thinking, gosh, she doesn't say much. You know how I always find things to worry about, and this was it. She clearly understood everything so I mostly thought she was just a stubborn little diva and wasn't all that worried about it, but she has a little friend in the neighborhood who's younger and a boy and HE was talking, so... And then the floodgates opened and she started spitting out sentences. It was amazing.

Patrick thought so too. He would sit there and quiz her. "Say Mommy, Audrey. Say Daddy. Say Patrick." And she would sit with him, grinning, and repeat all the words. Until he got to, "Say dinosaur, Audrey." And she said, "RAWR!" It was too cute.

This summer has been busy. In May we went to Disney World again. It had only been a year and half (or slightly less) since we went for Patrick's (and Audrey's but I'm not sure if I count it since she for sure won't remember) first time, but we wanted to go while we weren't constrained by school calendars and also while Audrey still got a free flight. Audrey and Patrick like watching Tangled, so I bought Audrey a Rapunzel dress and got a FassPass to go meet her (and Cinderella). Audrey, as befitting her diva status, decided she really did NOT want to meet any princess who might think she was more important. So that was a fail. But all in all it was fun and Patrick now LOVES roller coasters. Coincidentally, I no longer do. Ha.

In June, the kids and I took a road trip to Vermont with Anne and Will. Two adults. Three kids. Three carseats. One car. ENDLESS HIGHWAY. I had never been to Vermont. There are a lot of cows. Patrick had never been on a road trip before but since he is a privileged child of the 21st century, he had his own DVD player as well as a Kindle and he did pretty well. Audrey, on the other hand, decided that three hours was as long as she wanted to spend in her carseat before she needed a break. It was ... fun.

I guess I will devote another entry to Vermont and the rest of summer because, oh look, it's already a day later and I'm no closer to finishing this.

Audrey is 19 months old, so I'll do a Patrick update

So. Patrick turned 5. [Insert OMG I CAN'T BELIEVE IT HE'S 5! WHERE DID THE TIME GO? MY BABY IS GOING TO START KINDERGARTEN THIS YEAR! freakout here.]

Patrick is not going to like going to school. I know this because he is like a little teenager. If left to his own devices, he will stay up late playing video games and then sleep in very late the next morning. And then he will wake up and ask to play video games. Interestingly, I read some infographic that said left-handed people were better at multi-tasking and more likely to enjoy and excel at video games, so there's that. He's 5 now, so I think I'm allowed to call him a lefty. The same infographic said two right-handed parents have a 2 percent chance of producing a lefty. He doesn't exclusively use his left hand, but if he swings a baseball bat, it's left-handed. If he grabs a crayon, it's left-handed. He writes his name left-handed. However he prefers to type it either on my phone or on my computer. Kids these days.

He only has a few leftover babyisms. He still says "I fink" instead of "I think" but he can say think if you make him. He calls spaghetti "bisketti" but he can say that the right way too if you make him. He is very good with numbers. Less so with letters. I think they bore him. He really doesn't like lower-case letters. In fact, he refuses to use them. Or learn them. That is why Patrick will be going to kindergarten and not being home schooled. (Also I just typed "homeshooled" so that should be a good enough reason right there.)

Patrick is tall and skinny and looks very much like a big kid, but he's still scared of the dark and he told me the other day that maybe he'll think about wiping himself when he's 7. I don't understand this, as he went through a burst of independence when he turned 4 (or sometime around then) where he wanted to do everything himself, and now he ... doesn't.

He does not like getting his hair cut or eating vegetables (especially peas).

He is very polite. But sneaky. He is brutally honest. (Unless he's trying to be sneaky.) He will yell, "Mom! Mom! Mom!" (or Dad) and then when you finally said, "What?!?" he replies, "I love you." My dad overheard him telling me he loved me when we were over at their house the other day and said, "What did you do wrong, Patrick?" Patrick looked confused, and I told my dad that he just says it because he wants to. "Oh," my dad said. "I only said that when I had done something wrong and I was trying to stay out of trouble." 

thwarted

We have been trying (passively) to get the Rapunzel character for the Disney Infinity game since it came out. If you are up on the details of these horrible wonderful creations, you may know that she is a Wal-Mart exclusive. She was released about the same time Wreck-It Ralph was released at Best Buy and Vanellope was released at Target. All in time for Christmas, you understand. Well, getting Ralph and Vanellope posed no problems. But every time I went to Wal-Mart, Rapunzel was sold out. I could have ordered it, shipped to store for free or even to home if I was feeling lazy, but I thought surely I would come across it at some point. I had time before Christmas. Then I never came across it, and then Patrick ended up with a metric ton of Christmas and birthday presents so I didn't worry about it. Until December 24, when Patrick casually mentioned he'd asked Santa for "the girl with the farro cooking pan." [I have NO EARTHLY IDEA WHY HE CALLS HER THIS. But he consistently does.] Cue panic. Rapunzel was not at any Wallyworld within 50 miles so that was simply out of the question.

A few days after Christmas, I noticed that several stores within 50 miles now had availability. Patrick had mentioned he wanted Rapunzel "since Santa didn't bring her" but he didn't seem too concerned. I had to go to Wal-Mart for a couple of things -- and I've just remembered one of them that I failed to get, sigh -- so I told Patrick we could look for Rapunzel. And then we ended up at Target. I thought that the exclusivity had ended Dec. 31. I guess not. So I told a wailing Patrick at Target that we could drive (the six miles) to Wal-Mart if they had it in stock. Their online search engine said yes.

You can see where this is going, of course. I suppose I ought to have called but this is not my first rodeo. Wal-Mart associates haved proven to be clueless and/or lazy more times than not. It was probably easier to drive the six miles. Which I did. No Rapunzel on the shelf. I asked the associate. He said, "If it's not on the shelf, we don't have it." Patrick started wailing again. I looked at the online search engine. "IN STOCK!" it proclaimed. "ORDER NOW, PICK UP TODAY!"

Fine, I thought. I will outwit you, lazy and apathetic Wal-Mart associate! I then spent 20 minutes trying to place an online order with my dumb phone. When that failed, I went back out to the car to see if I could place the order using the Kindle. There was 2 bars of service for "Best Buy Free Wifi" ... which did not connect. I should have given up a long time ago, but at this point, I WAS GOING TO GET RAPUNZEL, DAMMIT. So I went and parked in front of Panera. Their free Wifi worked. I placed my order. I was smug. I smugly told Patrick that that employee was LAZY and then I smugly went in and ordered a cappuccino while I waited for the text that my order was ready.

The cappuccino was delicious. Patrick got a Valentine's shortbread cookie and Audrey had a blueberry muffin. Patrick very politely went all by himself to the counter and said, "Excuse me. May I please have a new bag for my cookie?" My heart melted. Full disclosure: Patrick also licked the display case. My heart did not melt at that juncture.

By now it was after 5, and it was looking unlikely that I was going to make it home to make dinner, so James came to meet us and we went out. So I was sitting at Kanki waiting for the onion volcano when I got the text from Wal-Mart telling me that unfortunately my order was delayed because Rapunzel was not in stock. However! They are going to RUSH my order to the store FOR FREE! so I can get it in just three to six business days!

WAL-MART SUCKS.

But they win.  

 

Pudding

I was in the living room. I had just sat down after trying to convince Audrey to nap. I wanted to get online, to purchase the items in my shopping cart (still there, some four days later) or check Facebook or something. We had taken the Christmas tree down. It was the midst of the post-holiday blahs.

I heard Patrick rummaging around in the kitchen. I started to get annoyed, because I was thinking, "I bet he's getting out the peanut butter. He will make a big mess and then he'll leave the peanut butter jar out and I'll forget to clean it up and Audrey will get into it and make a bigger mess and then THERE WILL BE SCREAMING."

Then he came into the living room. He was carrying two cartons of chocolate pudding and two spoons. He held one out to me and said, "I brought you some pudding because I thought you might be sad." 

TEARS. 

 

I came in like a wrecking ball

aka "2013 in Review"

1. What did you do in 2013 that you’d never done before?
I am wracking my brain here. I'd say something like 'not worked full time' but actually I went some months in 2003ish where I didn't work full time. Hey! I took Audrey to church. That was new.

2. Did you keep your New Year’s resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
I didn't make any because I never keep them and who wants to set themselves up for failure?

3. Did anyone close to you give birth?
I feel like surely somebody had to, but ... not that I recall.  

4. Did anyone close to you die? 
No.

5. What places did you visit?
Disney World/Orlando, FL. Charlotte, NC. (Twice!) Sunset Beach, NC. Myrtle Beach, SC. Oh man, this is depressing. I used to have a life. I used to travel. 

6. What would you like to have in 2014 that you lacked in 2013?
A bigger house. A shorter drive to get to Target. More savings. More money.

7. What dates from 2013 will remain etched upon your memory, and why? None. I don't remember things like I used to. Which is mostly good, I think, judging from the journal I found on Christmas Eve from 2004. I think going forward I'll only remember dates of tragedies or if I happen to have another kiddo.

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year? 
We all survived. Ha. Oh, oh, I know! I completed the family photo book. For 2012. In November, I think. Which reminds me, I need to get on the 2013 version. Sigh. 

9. What was your biggest failure?
This did not take just one year, but Patrick had to have major dental work. I feel like a terrible failure every single day. Not even exaggerating. And I am super paranoid about Audrey's teeth. Speaking of failure, I have also failed at getting her to sleep through the night. I AM SO SLEEP-DEPRIVED.

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?
I didn't but James had a kidney stone that our wallets will be feeling until 2015.

11. What was the best thing you bought?
Blackout curtains for Patrick's room. Kid is like a teenager now; he'll sleep until noon. Okay, I'm sure there must have been something better but I can't think of anything now, and I'd have to go back and look through my photos from last year or my Facebook status updates, and ... eh.

12. Whose behavior merited celebration? 
Oh, you know, Audrey hit her milestones, so yay! No, seriously. I am paranoid.

13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?
I plead the fifth. HA.

14. Where did most of your money go?
Bills bills bills. Medical bills. The house. Blah.

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?
I was really excited to take the kids to Disney World, and it as really fun. But we went the first week of January and it feels like forever ago.

16. What song will always remind you of 2013?
Wrecking Ball... 

17. Compared to this time last year, are you:

a) happier or sadder? I'm probably trending toward sadder but not for any particular reason. Post-holiday funk? General worry about money? General worry about the state of the world? Don't know. And I'm not really sad or anything, purely talking comparatively.

b) thinner or fatter? Fatter. Sometime in the fall of 2012 I'd given up dairy to see if it helped Audrey not cry all the time. It did, and I lost weight -- and fast! -- because everything that I like has dairy in it. I mean, tell me something good that doesn't contain milk, butter or cheese. Really. But then I started eating cheese again and coffee drinks with full fat milk -- so delicious -- so ... yeah.

c) richer or poorer? Poorer. We have too much debt. I don't actually know if we're poorer. I think about the same. We actually did pretty well contributing to 401ks and we refinanced the mortgage. We didn't spend our savings but I don't know that we added to it and I'm not going to go do the math in case we did not add to it because then I'd be depressed. We still have credit card debt and have added some medical debt. Boo.

18. What do you wish you’d done more of? 
Being present. Writing emails to my far-away friends.

19. What do you wish you’d done less of?
Dicking around on the internet. HAHA.

20. How did you spend Christmas in 2013?
We opened our presents at our house in the morning, then went to my parents' house in the afternoon. I think that is becoming a tradition. What we did NOT do was have breakfast sausage casserole. I missed it. (I made delicious pancakes instead and we had way too many cookies but still.)

21. Did you fall in love in 2013?
No.

22. What was your favorite TV program?
So sad, but Teen Mom. I still watch Bones and House and Grey's Anatomy but they disappoint me on a regular basis. [OMG. This was my 2010 answer. It is basically still true, except House has ended and Bones and GA are less disappointing, most likely because I lowered my expectations.]

23. What did you do for your birthday in 2013?
On my actual birthday, I met my mom and Kevin for lunch at my favorite restaurant (Parker & Otis) and then Kevin and I wandered around the mall for a while. I think I actually was looking for Audrey's birthday present. Also James totally forgot it was my birthday so that was fun. Then on the weekend we went to a Bulls game in which there was a grand slam and a triple play.

24. What was the best book you read?
Okay, don't judge me. I am re-reading the Outlander series. I LOVE THOSE BOOKS. I read Gone Girl because it seemed like the thing to do, but I didn't love it. 

25. What did you want and get? 
The Poang chair and footstool from IKEA. But I had to get leather instead of the supercute flower print I wanted because the flower print would not match our living room.

26. What did you want and not get?
The credit card(s) paid off. A bathroom remodel. A new house. Fit. 

27. What was your favorite film of this year?
I went to a non-kids movie for the first time in FOREVER. Unfortunately it was "About Time" and it was good but my mom had RAVED about it so I went in with too-high expectations and it was a letdown. I think I liked "Frozen" better. And probably also "Despicable Me 2."

28. Did you make some new friends this year?
Not really but I got a lot closer to some friends. 

29.What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
Winning the Powerball and not having to worry about money.

30. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2013?
Stretchy yoga pants.

31. What kept you sane? 
Girl time.

32. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
Would you judge me if I said Ben Roethlisberger? Of course you would. [Haha, 2010 FTW!] 

33. What political issue stirred you the most?
Obamacare!

34. Who did you miss?
Who I always miss. Also, sometimes, my previous life. Not like I want it back, but man, those were some good times. [I have made no progress since 2010.]

35. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2013.
Be grateful. 

Patrick and Santa

Patrick got his picture with Santa today. They had a very amusing conversation.

Patrick: CHEESE!

Santa: …burger.

P: BURGER!

S: No, cheeseburger.

P: Cheeseburger?

S: Or did you say booger?

P: HAHA burger. Not booger!

S: Patrick, have you been good this year?

P: Yes!

S: Do you always listen to your mom and dad?

P: Yep.

S: Always?

P: Well…sometimes I do.

S: Do you eat your vegetables?

P: Yes!

S: You do?

Molly: What about green beans?

S: Do you like green beans, Patrick?

P: No. I don’t.

S: I don’t like spinach. It’s so good when it’s fresh and cold but then you cook it and it’s just not good.

<Patrick and Santa pose with a tin can telephone.>

P: <yelling> Can you hear me, PUNK?!?

S: Whoa, whoa, hey. How about ‘can you hear me, pardner’?

P: Can you hear me PARDNER!

S: Ha. I think your dad has been teaching you some things that he … maybe shouldn’t be. We might need to get the switch out.

P: Mm-hmm.

S: Do you know what a switch is?

P: Yes, it’s how you move the train from one track to another.

S: <chuckling> Well, yes, but I was thinking of another kind of switch.

P: Like one for cars?

S: Never mind, let’s not talk about that anymore. What do you want for Christmas?

P: Um. I need to think about it.

S: Okay, you can write me a letter, or you can email me. Can you do that?

P: Yes! Yes, I can.

S: Okay, well you do that, and you be sure to listen to your mom and d—well. You listen to your mom. I need to speak with your dad. 

continued

[I am completely unable to produce this as a cohesive whole letter. One day. One day I will.]

Dear Audrey,

For the first, oh, 10 months of your life, you refused to sleep unless I was holding you. I could coax you to take the occasional nap. The crib was useless. It was ... challenging. After about 10 months of this, I was fed up. So finally I put you in your crib to let you nap, fully prepared to let you cry it out -- although full disclosure I had tried this before, and you outlasted me every time up to 70 minutes -- and you ... fell asleep. And suddenly you were napping in your crib. And a few weeks later you would go to sleep in your crib! It is like heaven! Now, that is not to say we don't still have issues because we do, oh we do, but it is lovely that you nap. However, every time I put you in the crib, you make the saddest little pouty face. Your lower lip trembles. There's a picture I have of your brother making this face, and you make it every.single.time. You do not even usually cry. You usually go right to sleep, because you are TIRED, but that face. Every time. It kills me. It is so adorable.

Also adorable: you blow kisses (sometimes. when you want. did I mention this already?) and you blow on your food to cool it off. It is already cooled off but you obviously have seen us do this and are mimicking it. Of course it's because you're a genius like your mother, but it is just amazing how you pick up on this stuff.

You prefer to drink of out of a straw or a real cup. You are not a big fan of the sippy cup. The straw thing fascinates me, because I recall Patrick at roughly this age not wanting anything to do with straws-type sippy cups. I didn't bother trying them this time around until you grabbed a Capri Sun and knew just what to do with it. And didn't even spill any.

You have also used a straw to sip my iced coffee. I let you have a sip occasionally, and I drink sugar-filled coffee concoctions so it's not overly surprising that you'd like it but one day last week I just got an iced coffee. It was not sweetened. You took a giant sip and came back for more. Twice. I am scared.

I have nearly finished your project 365 photo book and I need to email that to your grandma so she can edit it. Two pairs of eyes are better than one. I can't think of anything else to say right now, but I will as soon as I hit publish...so I'll be back, I'm sure.

 

Love,
Mama