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Sun 08/01/2004
and that's why I hang my hat in Tennessee
TM has a venti iced coffee from Starbucks. He is flirting with Sports Reporter in the tunnel before the game. As the starting lineups announcements begin, I get a call that I have gotten one of the starters wrong, which I did not, so I go over to TM, intending to ask if he knows why [Big Leaguer] is not starting, but just then his replacement is announced, and TM jumps and indignantly yells, "WHAT? Where’s [Big Leaguer]?? Did he get called up?" He looks to the dugout, and raises his hands to ask why, and then he goes back down the tunnel to go find out. I notice that the trainer is out there, and ask SR to focus her camera out there and see if she can see anything, but she can’t. Eventually, a much calmer TM comes back and says that [Big Leaguer]’s nose wouldn’t stop bleeding, but he will still be playing once it does. (Later, Coach C says this also happened in Albuquerque, and today, it just wouldn’t stop, and it was five till and he hadn’t been able to warm up at all "and that’s when I said, 'Skip, we’ve got to do something else here.'") 

SR gives TM a hard time about not bringing her an iced coffee.
TM: You didn’t ask.
SR: You know, I dreamed about [Big Leaguer] and now here he is, not starting.
TM: You dreamed about [Big Leaguer]? Whatever. You dream about me every night.
SR: <laughs> Oh yes, that’s right. 
The next inning, SR calls and asks me to bring her some water. By the time I get down there, [Competing Sports Reporter] is there, and she has set up right next to SR, who rolls her eyes at me to show her displeasure. I ask SR if she asked TM about his thoughts on CSR. She didn’t, but she will. She goes over to ask him and comes back laughing. "He said, 'FUCK no!'" she says. "I wasn’t expecting that." Heh.
 
SR tells me the story of her hookup with [Visiting Starting Pitcher]. I tell her that I understand, but I will not give details about my hookup incident.
M: I'll tell you someday, but you'll laugh.
SR: Does that mean I know him?!
Heh. Does she. Back to VSP. She has a picture of him, in her phone. He is holding a girly drink. 
SR: Well, he doesn’t like beer, and so he got this drink, which is called Pink Panties.
M: Were you wearing pink panties?
SR: Not for long.
M: Okay, tell me more.
SR: Well, we didn’t have sex. Because he’s engaged.
M: Right, you said that. But were you happy with how it turned out?
SR: Oh yeah. I was happier than he was.
M: Well, so what happened?
SR: It all started right here. He had actually seen me the day before. I was doing the camera in the dugout when he was pitching, and I didn’t notice him. And then the next day, he was here, and actually a friend of mine was here, and I was telling her that I can’t find any good men in Memphis. He said he would take me out and find me a man. So we went to the Saucer, and had a few drinks.
M: The Pink Panties.
SR: Right. 
M: Did he know you took that picture?
SR: Oh yeah. He tried to erase it the next day. I was in the shower, and I heard my phone beeping.
M: Wait – he spent the night?
SR: Yeah. But I wish he hadn’t.
M: So you didn’t have sex, but he spent the night?
SR: And he snored! I didn’t get any sleep.
M: Let me get this straight. He had Pink Panties, and then you left him with blue balls?
SR: (guffaws, and continues laughing)
TM: (looks over, curious) Shh!
SR: (still laughing)
TM: What are you talking about?
M: She’s a tease!
TM: Yeah, and?
M: She’s got a picture of the guy she went home with, that’s all.
SR: What did you say? I’m never telling you anything again.
M: I didn’t tell him anything! I just said you were a tease. I’m going to tell him all about it tomorrow.

The Redbirds win 2-1 in one hour and 55 minutes.


Posted by Molly at 12:01 AM EDT
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Fri 07/30/2004
never had a plan, just a livin' for the minute
TM is on the phone. We do our little dance. I walk up the stairs, slow. He stands up and cranes his neck to watch me. I look down to see his reaction. He motions me to come back down the stairs which I do, because I am shameless. I don’t know what kind of view he is getting, because I am wearing a thong, which covers most of my girly parts. He stares for a while, then smiles, slightly, gives me a thumbs up, and mouths "good." This is my cue to leave, of course, since he is still actually on the phone. However, I wait until he finishes.
M: It’s not fair. I mean, you get your little show every day, and I get … nothing. 
TM: Heh. Well. (shrugs) What do you want me to do? You want a show?
M: Yeah.
TM: Heh.
He gives me a show.
M: Well. (laughs, shocked) That’s fair. 
 
He grins and exits. Did he go into the clubhouse like that? Because I mean, I think that time it might have been rather obvious.

After the game, I leave at the same time as [Infielder], again. He is on his phone, but looks at me and waves. He is so cute, I just love him. I don’t care what anyone says.

Posted by Molly at 12:01 AM EDT
Updated: Fri 03/10/2023 10:37 PM EST
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Thu 07/29/2004
we got a little crazy but we never got caught
TM is talking on his phone in the stairwell. He sees me coming and motions that I need to spread my legs further apart as I am coming down the stairs so he can see up my skirt. I oblige him and continue on my way. When I come back down, we have the following conversation:
TM: You need to take your panties off. There's too much in the way.
M: Oh yeah? You want me to?
TM: Mm-hmm. But where would you put them?
M: (THAT'S the concern here??) I don't know. I could just carry them.
TM: You COULD put them in there. (He points to the trashcan.)
M: But I like them. They're cute; they have a little bow on them. I could put them behind there (points to the radiator thing) and get them later.
TM: Yeah, do that.
M: Do you really want me to?
TM: No, you don't have to. You're getting all nervous.
[Ops Guy] walks in. TM reflexively lifts his phone as if he's on it, but then sees who it is and says hey to him. Ops Guy continues up the stairs.
TM: (slightly louder than necessary) Well, just think about ways we can do that and get back to me, okay?
M: (shaking my head) I'm coming right back. Will you wait?
TM: (nods)
BUT I am going to take a Player of the Month form ballot (or something) to Manager, so you know I am not about to take off my panties. When I walk back into the stairwell, TM perks up, and I just feel awful because I have to disappoint him. (Hah. I don’t feel awful at all. He is BAD!) 
M: They’re still on.
TM: Oh. I thought you were going to go take them off.
M: No, I was talking to [Manager]. I could come back down, later, if you’ll be out here.
TM: Well…I gotta go to a meeting. 
I go back down once more, just because, and TM is there. He stands up and motions me into the correct position so he can see, but I giggle and almost don’t do it, because I am self-conscious and I do not feel sexy. I mean, he knows exactly what’s there, but still. Anyway, I manage to make a pass, but I rush it. Later he says, "I saw," and he grins.
 
During the game, I head down to talk to my sports reporter friend. Predictably, we talk about the players, specifically TM, because he always comes up, always. He and [Big Leaguer] are sitting at the end of the dugout. She says, "Yeah, they're totally staring at us." Of course, we are staring at them. I wonder what they are talking about. I have no idea what to make of [Big Leaguer]. He has a WAG (I'm not sure which, lol, so WOG but whatever). He apparently is religious and attends the team Bible study on the road. Sometimes he seems nice to me. Sometimes he mocks me. Sometimes he seems very standoffish. I don’t get him.
 
After the game, won by the Redbirds, I walk out behing [Infielder], who is mobbed by a group of little leaguers. The next day, our press box attendant reports that the guy covering for our local beat writer, has been informed of Beat Writer’s vendetta against [Infielder] and is in support because [Infielder] was mean to him. Apparently, he answered a question and then asked, "Is that good enough for you? Will that work?" Now, I don’t know what tone he used, but this does not seem inherently mean. I can see [Infielder] asking that and genuinely meaning it. He is West Coast, so it might not seem like nice Southern hospitality drawl, but that doesn't mean he was being mean about it. People try to see the worst in him, and I try to see the best in him, and I guess he probably falls somewhere in the middle.

Posted by Molly at 12:01 AM EDT
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Sun 06/27/2004
and we swore up and down there would be no regrets
So he comes over and everything happens, and ... then he says he thought about it and he wants to go back to being friends. (I AM CURSED, FML.) So I say okay, because luckily (LUCKILY AND THIS IS ACTUALLY TRUE) I am not in love with him so I can do it this time. (Although, if he had kissed me like that before, and not after...) Anyway, it is slightly awkward but not terrible. The team goes on the road, and by the time they come back we are pretty much okay.
 
I have made friends with one of the local sports reporters, who limits herself to the visiting teams so she doesn't get into awkward situations like I do.
 
[Infielder] comes up to bat, and I ask her if she thinks he’d be good in bed, because I do. She doesn’t see it. I say, "I just get this vibe from him, that he has a very small penis, and he’s worked very hard to learn how to use it." She laughs so hard that she spits water out of her mouth and says that’s the funniest thing she’s ever heard me say, and it’s the funniest thing she’s heard in a while. "It’s so bad that we’re talking about this," she says. "Oh, like they’ve never talked about us," I say. She concedes.


Posted by Molly at 12:01 AM EDT
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Wed 06/16/2004
moments just like these, baby, wrong can feel so right
Today I’m wearing one of those shirts that used to drive NSG mad, the kind that fits fine everywhere except right across my chest, where it tends to gape open if I move. TM, like NSG, is entranced. Unlike NSG, he does not tell me to fix my shirt.
TM: Great view from the side today. (lowers his voice, almost reverently) They’re enormous, your tits.
He reaches out, grabs my arm, and positions me so that he can have the view he wants.
M: Well. This isn’t suggestive at all.
TM: You wear a D-cup, don’t you? 
M: Yeah, I do.
TM: Hmm. (He takes a second to glance at my face, grins, then returns his gaze to my chest.)
M: Come on, now, this is just wrong.
TM: No it’s not. You’ve seen me. You saw me last night.
M: Yeah, but you were wearing your shorts.
TM: Well...do you want to see me naked?
M: Um, I wouldn’t, you know, turn it down. It’s not like I’m pining for it, though.
TM: Oh yeah?
He looks down. Naturally, I do the same. He glances at me, to see if I’ve noticed, but I can’t really see anything and I’m just assuming something’s happening there. He grins.
M: (hears voices in the stairwell) Oh, that’s Radio Guy.
TM: Okay. I’ll see you later.
 
It is a day game, so we are done early. I am walking to my car, in the garage.
TM: Hey...what’re you doing?
M: Going home.
TM: Yeah? Fancy seeing you outside of the ballpark. 
M: Yeah, I know. I live here. Where are you going?
TM: I was just gonna try and catch up with some of the guys.
M: Hmm. I have some pictures of you.
TM: You do?
M: Mm-hmm. This guy brought them to me, a freelance photographer.
TM: Do I get to see them?
M: If you want.
TM: You can stand sideways right there, for me, if you want. (flips through the pictures) Somebody just gave these to you, like on the concourse?
M: Well, no, he came up to the press box.
TM: (stops at one which is a shot of him from the back) I bet you like this one.
M: Mm-hmm.
TM: So you’re really going home tonight? Do you live alone? (He is finished with the photos and hands them back.)
M: Yeah. You gonna sign a picture for me?
TM: No. I’ll sign your titties.
M: Hah. Yeah, I bet you would.
TM: You know, it wouldn’t be a bad thing if your shirt was unbuttoned one more button. ... Let me see the pictures again. I’ll just pretend to look at them and get a little hard-on. ... So when do I get to sign your tits?
M: Well not here.
TM: When am I gonna get the chance then?
M: I don’t know. Not here.
TM: I could come over to your car and sign them.
M: No, my car’s too small.
TM: I wouldn’t have to get in.
M: No, not at the ballpark. I already did that once. I mean, not here. In Houston. 
TM: Did you work there?
M: Yeah.
TM: Was it a ballplayer?
M: No. Can I ask you, why is it that guys are so fascinated by boobs?
TM: I do a pretty good job conversing, though, while I’m looking.
M: But, I mean, it’s not even like I’m wearing a sexy bra. You can’t see anything. Like if you were here with your fly open, you know, so what? I could still talk to you.
TM: You mean if my dick was hanging out, you wouldn’t be distracted?
M: (He distracted me from my point, which is that if he were wearing underwear, it's not a big thing.) I mean, I’d look at it, you know, but...
TM: You wouldn’t want to, like, grab it or something?
M: I might think about it, but I wouldn’t do anything.
TM: So you’re just going to go home tonight. What do you like to do? Do you like sex?
M: Well, yeah, I like sex. Who doesn’t? What about you?
TM: Oh yeah, I like sex.
M: Yeah, I knew that. You’re a guy.
TM: What do I like? I like blow jobs. I like licking. I like boobs. Did I leave anything out?
M: No, I, uh, I think you covered it.
TM: Yeah but I’m horny.
M: No. You? I never would have guessed.
TM: So how do I get to your house, if I’m gonna sign your tits? You can show me your sexy bra.
M: I don’t know if I have one. I’m very innocent. I’m a good girl. ... Obviously. 
TM: No, you are. I won’t bother you.
M: Well, you can come over. You just can’t do anything bad.
 
+++
 
There's a knock at the door. It's TM. I freak out.
TM: You’re still wearing a bra.
M: I didn’t think you were really going to come.
TM: I didn’t think so either. ... So what are you doing?
M: Watching the Astros game.
TM: Okay. Let’s watch the game. 
M: Is this how you usually...
TM: How I spend my nights?
M: Yeah. Well, I mean, you’ve got games, but...
TM: No, I don’t do this. I usually don’t go out anywhere.

+++

M: Do you watch the game, when you're in the dugout?
TM: I look around a lot.
M: Oh. I thought you said, "I like the Red Hots." What do you look at?
TM: You want to know if I look at the press box, don't you? I look for you up there sometimes. I see you.
 
+++
 
We’re lying on the couch, and I’m just enjoying it because I can feel his heart beating, and I love that. And he’s hot. I mean that literally, like I can feel the heat coming off him. His phone keeps ringing, and eventually he gets up, and goes to get dressed, so I stand up, too. And then he hugs me, and damn. 
TM: You can stand on the couch. Now we’re the same height.
M: You’re tall.
TM: All right. (He kisses me.) I gotta go. I’m gonna go get something for dinner and then go home. 
He walks toward the door, and I walk with him, and then he hugs me again, except I’m much shorter now.
M: Wait, you didn’t sign.
TM: I’ll do it next time.
M: No you won’t.
TM: Do you have a pen? It’ll never come off.
He signs the left one, and then adds his uniform number, and then looks at it, and laughs.
TM: Don’t let anyone see that.

Posted by Molly at 12:01 AM EDT
Updated: Tue 03/14/2023 12:57 AM EDT
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Tue 06/15/2004
out of the blue clear sky
The Astros' Triple A team is in town. I go to to Starbucks, after lunch, and two of their players are there getting coffee. One of them very obviously looks down my shirt. I walk back over to the ballpark, where I see Radio Guy arriving, and right behind him is TM. Radio Guy ignores me completely, but TM is watching me, so I wave and he waves back. Then he loiters in the plaza until I walk in, but I tell him I can't talk now and he says see you later then. 
 
Later. It rains. There’s no on-field BP. Close to gametime, I run into Marketing Guy, who had seen me talking to TM earlier and remarked on it.
MG: I saw you trying to hit on TM.
M: Well, clearly I want him.
MG: Most women do.
M: Who's catching your first pitches tonight?
MG: <with a side eye at me> TM.

I am the field for the pre-game ceremonies, because we are honoring the Player and Pitcher of the Month for May. TM makes his way to the on-deck circle for the first pitches. He signs autographs for a minute, because he always does that, and then sees me and ambles over. He asks if they are ready for the first pitches, which they are not. Some kids come over, so he signs more autographs, and squeezes my arm when he walks back past me. And he’s standing there, not next to me, but close, and I, without thinking, lean over to pull the bottom of my pants leg out of my shoe. This move is not lost on TM, who takes the opportunity to stare down my shirt. He then catches the FIVE first pitches, signs some more autographs, poses for a picture, and heads back toward the clubhouse.
 
After the ceremonies are done, I head inside and go toward the elevator but as I’m about to round the corner and TM is about to go into the clubhouse, he whistles, low, so I turn and see that he’s motioning toward the stairwell. I go over there, and TM joins me after a minute.
TM: Did you wear that shirt for me [because it’s pink and low-cut and offers a fairly nice view]?
M: <of course I did> No. But I wore the black bra for you. 
TM: Mm-hmm. Do you have [unintelligible murmur]?
M: <edges closer but does NOT lean over toward him> What?
TM: <staring> Do you have large nipples?
M: What?! I can’t answer that. That’s wrong.
TM: <shrugs. Just then, IT guy walks up the stairs. TM pulls out his phone like he’s talking, and I inch away.>
M: Just use your imagination. ... I’m sure it’s very fertile.
TM: Nah, come on, just tell me.
M: I don’t really know. I mean, I haven’t seen all that many others, so I don’t know where I fall. I think they’re pretty average. I don’t know.
TM: <stares>
M: Are you one of those guys who can tell size, just by looking?
TM: Yeah, I’m pretty good at that. I can usually get pretty close. <considers> You’re probably a full C, at least. You might even go higher.
M: Heh.
TM: Can you fix your shoes again?
M: You liked that, did you.
TM: Go on, fix them again. ... We’ll talk about that more tomorrow, all right?

Posted by Molly at 12:01 AM EDT
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Fri 06/04/2004
look at me, I can be centerfield
It is the last day of the homestand. I need to talk to [Infielder], who said he was arriving at 2 but is nowhere to be found. At 2:35, I’ve just made my third unsuccessful pass through the clubhouse when TM comes through the training room door just as I’m about to open it. He hits my stomach with his open palm, which makes me catch my breath, because sweet Lord but he has very large hands. Heh. "You’re all covered up today," he whines. "I can’t indulge all your fantasies every day," I say. TM starts to stretch. "Are you going back in the clubhouse?" he asks. I hesitate. I’m fairly certain [Infielder] has not arrived. I ask TM if he will do a Q&A with me sometime, since I am always talking to him anyway, and I should produce something from it, something to document that I am not discussing inappropriate things with him and generally being bad, which is of course what I am doing. Anyway, he agrees that this seems like a good idea. 
TM: Let’s do it in the dugout. I’m about to go run.
M: Do you like to run?
TM: No, I hate it.
M: Hah.
TM: I mean, I don’t hate it hate it, but I don’t like it.
M: That’ll be the first question. <goes up the stairs>
TM: <opens the door and sticks his head in, when I’m about halfway up the first flight of stairs> Molly! Give me about 15 or 20 minutes, okay? Fifteen.
M: Yeah, okay. I’ll think of some hard-core questions.
TM: <grins> Hard-core, huh?

Fifteen minutes later, I head down to the dugout with a list of very generic feel-good questions that are appropriate for the website. The grounds crew is watering down the infield, and TM is running the warning track. Shirtless. And I think, Please don’t let him come over here shirtless, because, damn, I’m only human, and he is built like a Greek god. Of course, a small part of me would dearly love for him to come over shirtless. Alas, he does not. He finishes running and makes his way to the dugout, stopping to put a shirt on along the way. He is wearing mirrored sunglasses. He sits down next to me, not very close, which is good for a multitude of reasons, not the least of which is that he is all hot and sweaty because it’s 87 degrees and he’s just been running.
 
M: So I don’t really have any hard-core questions. I just got these from a Q&A our web site guy did earlier.
TM: Okay. What kind of questions are these?
M: Nothing exciting. Just your basic feel-good stuff. Do you want to see them?
TM: No, just go ahead. I’ll answer whatever. As long as you keep sitting just like that.
M: Why, what am I showing off?
TM: No, nothing, you’re fine.
M: I’m wearing a tank top underneath. I figured you’d be looking.
TM: Yeah. A tank top?
M: Well, I tried it without, but, I don’t know. ... Okay, this is weird. You’re wearing sunglasses, and I can’t tell where you’re looking.
TM: Right now I’m looking at your boobs. And now I’m looking at your face. And now your hair.

He grins, and then he pushes his sunglasses back so I can see his eyes.
 
We do the interview, which I already mostly covered in a different entry, except:
M: Best Major League stadium?
TM: I don’t know. I don’t really pay attention. What do you think?
M: Well, I spent three years in Houston, so I’m partial to Minute Maid Park, but I don’t think it’s the best. ... I like Camden Yards. And PNC Park.
[Backup utility guy] comes walking across the field. He must live in the ballpark apartments beyond center field. TM yells, “Hey, [Nickname], what’s the best Major League stadium?” I think he was only doing it to legitimize the fact that the two of us were sitting there in the dugout and nobody else was there, but it’s not like we were even doing anything. But I thought it was unfortunate because [backup utility guy] has never sniffed the big leagues, and never will, and he smiles a little and says as much – "I don’t know – I’ve never been," and then goes into the clubhouse.
TM: Can I say Busch Stadium?
M: You can say whatever you want.
TM: I guess that’s my favorite, but I don’t know about the best.
M: I don’t think Busch Stadium’s the best, but ... (shrugs)
TM: Put Turner Field, the new one in Atlanta, for the best one.
M: Which of your teammates would you least like to face with the game on the line?
TM: (matter-of-factly) There’s really nobody.
M: Hah. "There’s really nobody."
TM: Well, there’s not. I guess you can’t put that. 


Posted by Molly at 12:01 AM EDT
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Thu 06/03/2004
just to hit the ball and touch 'em all, a moment in the sun
The big league broadcast team is in town to conduct interviews to air back in St. Louis. They set up at the far end of the dugout, on the warning track, and start grabbing guys for interviews. Up first is Coach C, who talks for 45 minutes because he is smitten with the pretty blonde interviewer. (Ha...the next day, he asks if she is coming back – no – and then says that she might not really have known her stuff but that doesn’t matter.)
 
I go down and check in, see how they’re doing. As soon as I step into the dugout, The Magnificence is there.
TM: She’s moving in on your territory.
M: What?
TM: I saw her eyeing me.
M: Oh, really?
TM: Yeah. I think you should kick her ass.
M: Mm, no.
TM: What, you don’t care?
M: Well, she’s from St. Louis. She won’t be here.
TM: But she’s here now. 
M: Yeah, but she’s working. 
TM: I still think you should kick her ass.
M: No. I’m a nice person.
TM: I bet you could, though.
M: Well, sure, I probably could, but I wouldn’t.
TM: I know. ... I bet you could kick my ass.
M: Hah. You’d let me.
TM: Yeah, I would let you...and I’d probably like it.
M: I bet you would.
TM: Okay, well, we've gotta go hit now.

He smacks me on the back and goes to hit. I go over and talk to the crew. They are interviewing [Future Star]. I am listening, because I like to listen in, and because I like to hear what kind of questions other people ask, and also because I am a very nosy person at heart. From over on the field, I hear someone calling my name, and I turn around, and it’s TM, who has walked out past third base and is calling me. I look over at him, and he inclines his head toward [Interviewer] and mouths "kick her ass." I shake my head; he grins and goes back to hitting. He keeps looking over, though, and laughing. 

[Infielder] moseys over; he knows [Interviewer] from St. Louis. She has not mentioned that she needs to talk to him at all, but he asks why they are here, and she says, "Well, [Infielder], to talk to you, of course!" Eventually, they do talk to him, and he fidgets and plays with his hands (he tapes two or three fingers; it looks random but I’m sure there must be something to it), which are small but utterly fascinating. [Infielder] gets a whipped cream pie in his face from [Big Leaguer], who was nice enough to not make it shaving cream and to bring [Infielder] a towel as well. I didn’t see it coming, and apparently neither did he, which is slightly surprising, since he usually seems hyper-aware of what’s going on around him. [Infielder] says it is the first time he has been pied.
 
BP ends. I ask if the STL folks need anything else. [Interviewer] says they just need the manager. I go get him, but as he walks out, [Interviewer] exclaims that they’ve just got to have [Big Leaguer]; he said he would talk to them but then never came back after BP. I decide to make an attempt to do my job and head toward the clubhouse to see if I can find him. I don’t really want to go in the clubhouse, not because I don’t want to see these guys naked but because I don’t want to bother anyone, which I feel like I’m doing. And then I see that TM is sitting over in the nook outside the clubhouse, so I postpone my search and head down there to talk to him. He has a newspaper and is apparently amusing himself with the comics and the crossword puzzle. He gives me the once-over as I walk up, and it’s weird talking to him like this, because he’s looking up at me and I’m standing over him. But I can’t exactly sit down opposite him and chat, especially today, since I am wearing the skirt I wore that got my cherry popped. I am also wearing a shirt that is fairly ... close-fitting.
TM: Are you cold?
M: ...Uh...no...?
TM: Is it cold down here?
M: <puts two and two together, finally, aided by the fact that he is staring fixedly at my chest> Oh. OH. Now I have to stand back here with my arms crossed.
TM: No, you don’t, you have to come back here and talk to me.
M: Can you do me a favor?
TM: A favor? What is it?
M: Can you go ask [Big Leaguer] if he can come do an interview?
TM: <mutters something that I can’t hear, which makes me lean over toward him, which makes his eyes widen appreciatively, which makes me stand up again>
M: What?
TM: I said... <mutters something, again>
M: You’re talking really low, and I can’t hear you. Can you speak up?
TM: No. I’m going to keep talking low. You need to lean over again so you can hear me.
God help me, I do it. He fastens his eyes on my chest, and I know it’s wrong, but it’s nice to be noticed, I tell you, and he’s a Major League ballplayer, dammit, and he likes me. Me! I know it doesn’t mean anything, but, you know, there’s no harm in flirting, and it makes us both happy.
TM: If I get [Big Leaguer] for you, you’re going to owe me a favor. Why can’t you just go in there and get him?
M: Well, because you’re all naked in there.
TM: All right, I’ll get him. But you owe me.
M: What do I owe you? 
TM: <smiles a little> Maybe you could stretch or something?
M: <I do> Look, Fox is here, and I’m stressed and you’re getting me all worked up [which I am enjoying]. You’re gonna get me fired.
TM: For getting worked up?
M: Well, no, but...
TM: Here, look what you’re doing to me... <he moves the newspaper away from his lap and, oh. OH. It's ... magnificent.>
M: Oh. Ah. Heh. ... There’s nothing I can do about that. <I suppose, actually there’s a lot I could do, but...> Just go back to your crossword puzzle. And, uh, I’m gonna head back out there. ... So you’re gonna get [Big Leaguer]?
TM: I can’t go in there like this!
M: No, I know. In a few minutes.
TM: Will you be out there still?
M: Yeah.
TM: I’ll get him.
M: Thank you.

I go back out. Manager, smitten with either the bright lights and camera or with [Interviewer] (probably the bright lights), is STILL talking, which is more than he has said to me in two months. I would not care about this normally, except that TM has apparently done what I asked, because [Big Leaguer] has come out to the dugout and is standing in the doorway to the tunnel watching. He watches and waits, and Manager drones on. And [Big Leaguer] goes back in. When Manager FINALLY shuts up, he asks it they are done, or if they need anyone else. "Well," says [Interviewer], "We actually still were trying to get [Big Leaguer]." Manager shoots me a look and says, "That’s her job." Since I have already asked TM, I do go into the clubhouse and look around, but [Big Leaguer] is not in there. He is getting a massage in the training room, I find out later, but this does not help me. I walk out of the clubhouse and head toward the other entrance, which is by the training room, to see if he's over there. 
 
But, TM is still sitting there with his newspaper. I ask if he knows where [Big Leaguer] is, because I will go get him, but I can't find him. "I don't know why you don't want to go in there," grumbles TM. "It’s not anything you haven't seen before." (I always wanted NSG to say that to me, and he never did, and TM is rapidly moving up on my list of favorite people in the world.) TM sticks his head in the door and yells, "Hey, where's [Big Leaguer]?" [Big Leaguer] happens to be walking by at that very moment, and seems (rightfully) slightly annoyed as he says, "I was already out there three times – they'll just have to wait." Then he catches sight of me beyond the door, and starts to say something directed at [Interviewer], but TM stops him and says, "It's not [Interviewer]; it's Molly." I don’t know if [Big Leaguer] has any idea who I am, because he only recently got here and I haven't introduced myself, but he calms down and says, "Oh. I’ll be right out, Molly." And he is, although he is not wearing any Redbirds gear at all. Hah. He waits for me to accompany him out to the field; I do and apologize for bothering him. He shrugs and says it’s part of the job and goes out to do the interview.
 
The damn camera guy is playing in the clubhouse where he is not supposed to be. "[Future Star] showed me his cup!" he says. "This is great!" 

Posted by Molly at 12:01 AM EDT
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Mon 05/31/2004
what was I supposed to do, standing there looking at you
I again encounter TM in the dugout. We have a new player to photograph and we can re-take [Infielder]’s headshot, if that’s what he wants. He does want. He produces a very fake smile (takes one to know one) and talks through his teeth to the sports medicine intern when she asks if he is going to smile pretty. It’s funny. He approves of the photo. BP ends, and there is a reporter still waiting to talk to our esteemed manager, so I sit around and "supervise," mainly because I don’t really want to go upstairs. And then TM comes out of the clubhouse and back into the dugout. I happen to be sitting right by the box of training/first aid gear, which he is now making a beeline for.
TM: What are you still doing out here?
M: Waiting for the media to leave.
TM: Oh, that sounds like fun.
M: Yeah. So how was the first pitch yesterday?
TM: It wasn’t bad at all.
M: S showed me the picture.
TM: Was it bad?
M: No, it was cute.
TM: Thanks. (He’s rummaging around in the box of stuff.)
He can’t find what he needs and goes back inside. I wait a while longer, and finally the media guy leaves. Walking back upstairs, I go past the clubhouse, and the little nook outside the weight room, which is another choice spot for cell phone service. And there’s TM. He says something about the media guy, and we make small talk as he looks down my shirt, which is the little yellow crossover tank top that NSG liked so much back in May of ’02. Clearly, it’s having a similar effect here. "Why are you all dressed up, looking sexy like that?" TM asks. His eyes are fixated on my chest, with no sign of coming back up to my face any time soon. 
 
Then the marketing guy, with S in tow, walks up. Marketing Guy (who is incredibly attractive and also incredibly married, sigh) asks me why I haven’t given him the lineup yet, and I say it’s because I’ve been down here, and did he call my cell phone? He doesn’t have the number, so I give it to him, and TM asks Marketing Guy and S if they are there to get a first pitch catcher, which they are. "I’m not ever doing it again," TM says to S, "because you didn’t even say thank you." S protests that of course she did, she must have, didn’t she? TM says that infield is at 5:30, and players will be out and S can ask somebody then. I suggest that she should just go in the clubhouse and get somebody that way. "I don’t think the guys would mind too much," says Marketing Guy, as TM smirks, "but she might get in trouble." She won’t get in trouble because she’s married, I say. "Oh, well, she might," says TM. "She might get in more trouble if she’s married, because a lot of those guys are married, too." 
 
S recruits me to join her while waiting in the dugout; it doesn’t take too much arm-twisting. But. Apparently the players are not actually taking infield today. Eventually, TM makes his way out to the dugout, carrying a clipboard and a cup of coffee that looks to contain more milk than coffee. I ask him what that is, since it can’t possibly be coffee in there. He says it is; it just has a lot of cream and a little sugar. TM asks S if she got her first pitch lined up; she says no – no one’s out yet. "She’s about to ask you again," I say. "Well," he says, "I guess I could do it if you really needed someone."

My favorite coach (C) comes out to the dugout just then, and TM says, “Hey, C, how are we supposed to concentrate when we have people like them walking around down here?” And C, who is just as much a flirt as TM, only 30 years older, says, "Well, I guess it depends what you concentrate on." 

I start to walk away. "Why are you leaving already?" TM asks. I tell him I was only there to provide moral support for Sommer, since, you know, there are all these boys down here.
"Is she scared of us?" he asks.
I say she is.
"But you’re not scared of us?" he wants to know.
"Oh, no," I say. "I like boys."
TM grins and says, "I’ll remember that."

TM catches the first pitch, and S says she just feels awkward being down there. She also says she is getting over her little crush on TM.


Posted by Molly at 12:01 AM EDT
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Sun 05/30/2004
maybe it was southern summer nights
I head down to the dugout for BP, because I need to ask [Infielder] something. I am sitting in the dugout as the players head off the field, and I’m looking for him, so I don’t notice TM, until he is stopped in front of me at the top of the dugout steps and pointing at me while talking to [Infielder]. "Her," TM says. "You need to talk to her."
What?
"She’s the one who can get you a new headshot," TM continues.
Oh, okay.
"Yeah," says [Infielder], "I need a new one. That one you have is bad. Just use the one from last year or something." [Infielder] does not really look at me. TM, however, IS looking at me.
"It’s all your fault," he says, not seriously.
"How is it my fault – I didn’t take the picture," I say.
"No, but you arranged it," he says. Which I can’t argue with.
 
I ask [Infielder] the question I need to ask him, which is if he will call an annoying member of the media. He says he will (but he won’t, as it happens) and I give him the number, which is written on my Astros notepad. "Astros?" [Infielder] asks, slightly scornfully (but I think in a somewhat amused way). I explain that I used to work there, as he speeds away, and then I think TM wonders what he is talking about, and [Infielder] explains it to him. [Infielder] still has not looked at me, which is truly a pity, because he has the eyes. The eyes! TM is walking beside me as I head down the tunnel toward the clubhouse. His blue eyes, which are very nice, are still not really doing much for me (yet), which is good, because I do not need to get involved with this.

I ask TM what he’s been saying to S, because he’s got her all flustered. He seems a little amused, or maybe pleased that he has such an effect. "I’m just being nice," he says. By now he’s reached the door to the clubhouse, and I’ve turned to go up the hall and back upstairs. But he gets halfway inside the door and, holding it open, keeps talking to me.
TM: I guess I don’t have that same effect on you, though, huh?
M: Well, you never know.
TM: If I do, you hide it well.
M: I can’t reveal all my secrets. And, you know, I’ve got to keep it professional.
[LHP] comes in from the dugout, overhears me say that and mutters, "Yeah, [Nickname], you gotta keep it professional." And I laugh.
TM: Keep it professional...hmm.

He closes the door. I take three or four steps and see S coming toward me. I tell her she’s too late; there’s nobody left out on the field. And then I grin (because I am evil) and tell her I told TM she gets all flustered when she’s around him. Her eyes widen; she looks slightly alarmed. We start to walk down the hall, and she says, "You have to tell me everything." So I start to, and then we turn the corner, and there’s TM, sitting by the batting cages with his cell phone. S and I stop to talk to him, since he is not actually ON his cell phone.
TM: Did you come down here to get a first pitch?
S: Yeah…
TM: Who’d you get?
S: Well, nobody, yet.
TM: You know, I’ve never been asked.
M: That’s because you get her all flustered.
S: Hey! That’s not…it’s just…I…are you…
M: See?
S: Are you playing tonight? I don’t even know. Do you want to catch it?
TM: Not really.
S: Well, see, that’s why…
TM: But I could, I guess. Will you be down there?
S: Yeah, I’ll be down there, taking pictures.
M: Of you.
S: Hey! Stop that! You’re in trouble. You are in so much trouble right now.
M: (smiles innocently)
TM: (grins)
S: So you’ll do it?
TM: I’ll do it.
S: Okay. 
TM: When do I need to be out there?
S: Um, I don’t know…what time does the game start? Seven? It’s 6:45, I think, well, yeah, it’s 6:45.
TM: Okay. I’ll see you later.

We leave. S pretends to be mad at me but really isn’t. "He knew we were talking about him, too, when we walked up there," she says. Later, she comes up to the pressbox and shows me the picture, which is a fairly good shot of TM, who does not typically photograph all that well (but better than [Infielder]). After the game, I deliver boxscores to the clubhouse, and there, again, is TM. He gives me a fist bump. This makes me think of NSG. (You knew that was coming. I loved those fist bumps.)
 
The Redbirds have lost five in a row.


Posted by Molly at 12:01 AM EDT
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