Fourteen and Change

Audrey is 14 months old. And two days. Almost three. 

It is hard not to compare her to Patrick at 14 months, but then it's easy not to compare ... because I don't remember. I mean, I remember what he did, but was it 14 months? 15? No idea.

She is running. She still hasn't quite worked out that she should break her falls with her hands. She still thinks her head serves that purpose. 

When she was about to turn 1, I stupidly read one of those 'your baby this week' emails which indicated that she should be pointing and waving bye bye. She was doing neither of these things. I was not overly worried about the waving, because we rarely practiced that. But Google is not my friend and told me that pointing was instinctive (instinctual?) and it didn't matter if I didn't teach/model it, she should just do it. I tried not to worry about it. I failed. I mentioned it at her 12-month doctor's appointment. The doctor was unconcerned. Also, that appointment was when she was nearly 13 months, and by then she had sort of started pointing with her whole hand. Anyway the point of this incredibly boring paragraph is that she points now! She points regally. Perhaps the hand-waving was her dismissive way of pointing. But now she points everywhere. I want to go *here.* I want *that* chocolate. She discovered my stash of chocolate. She likes dark chocolate.

She just started blowing kisses today. It is pretty much the cutest thing ever.

Her favorite thing to do is bring you shoes. Her shoes. Your shoes. Usually she wants to go outside but sometimes she just wants to bring you her shoes. She doesn't say many words yet but she does say shoes. ('Oooos!')

She has mastered going down the stairs on her butt. I recall Grandma taught Patrick how to kaboom down the stairs and Patrick and I have passed this on to Audrey. Or she maybe figured it out herself. She learns fast.

Sleep is still a work in progress.

So is weaning. I am ready to be done nursing. Audrey is not. I don't know how to begin to convince her. She likes eating. She'll try anything. She particularly likes apples. She doesn't care much for sippy cups but she does like drinking from a straw. She also likes getting water from the water dispenser in the fridge. And then she dumps it all over the floor.

She likes the Cozy Coupe she inherited from Patrick. If you say "beep beep" she honks the horn.

I'm sure I have more to say but it's bedtime and I don't want this to languish as a draft so it's going up as is. Such is my life. 

Day 366

So Audrey turned one. I figured it was time to update. I have Wimbledon on, which is how I spent much of Audrey's first two weeks, so it is a nice bit of nostalgia. (I could go all stream of consciousness here and talk about the Nostalgia Man, which was(/is?) the guy in the Memphis Redbirds logo which would then make me switch over to baseball and then I would talk about the Chipper Bobble Bundle which is the three-game Durham Bulls ticket package that I purchsed so Patrick could have another bobblehead to destroy, look how off topic I can get, THIS IS HOW MY BRAIN WORKS.)

Anyway. Last Saturday my mom and I went to get Audrey's handprints done in ceramic, glazed and fired and whatnot. We did this for two reasons: (1) we did it for Patrick (when he was 6 months, second child syndrome right there) and (2) I like the handprints but am incapable of producing them myself. I tried. The last night, on her actual birthday, we did one-year pictures including cake smash. I am excited about these but I really wanted the 'golden hour' or whatever before sunset and it was cloudy and the light was not exactly what I had in mind -- but perhaps (probably) I'm idealizing it -- so I may try to do some more on my own.

Wow. Two paragraphs in and I still have not gotten to the point. This is my journalism degree in action. HA. 

It is sort of anticlimactic that Audrey is one. Perhaps because she has been walking for more than three months already, she just seems older. Maybe it is the second child thing. I don't know. I successfully took 365 photos so she will have the same book that Patrick got. (WOO!) By this point in his life, Patrick had already spent a weekend with Grandma and Grandpa while Mom and Dad jetted off to Colorado, but Audrey has not had to put up with such a separation. I guess I should get to the damn point and talk about Audrey: Age 1.

Audrey has moved past walking and basically runs everywhere. She knows what she wants and she knows how to get it. She likes to play with her big brother and all his toys. (Poor Patrick. He just sits there. "Mom, she's sitting on me. Audrey's sitting on me. Make her stop.") She loves being outside; she has always been this way. She picks up sticks and mulch and anything she can get her hands out outside. Often, she then tries to eat it. She is not much of a fan of baby food but will try anything we are eating. She grabs anything sweet out of my hand (or mouth) and will not give it back. (Smart girl.) She likes to play in the water, so bathtime is always fun, as is the sprinkler, hose and pool. She is of course fearless so this is not as much fun for Mom and Dad.

In the past month or so, she has gotten much better about sleeping. I am not sure if this is just that she finally go to a good point for HER with regards to sleep or if she realized that I had gotten to a point where I was not going to take it anymore. She now takes a morning nap from roughly 10-noon each day. In her crib. Alone. This is huge. She will also go to sleep at night on her own, most nights. The rest is a bit murkier. She only sleeps for a stretch of 3-4 hours at night. So she goes to bed at 9 but is usually up again wanting to eat around midnight or 1 a.m. She does not want to go back to her crib alone after this point. She also probably still needs an afternoon nap, but if she takes one, she won't sleep at night. I am trying to figure this one out still. Either she's cranky from 3-9pm but goes to sleep easily or she naps from abour 4-5 pm and is much happier but WILL NOT SLEEP. We'll call this a work in progress. 

She likes to dance, badly, when she hears any kind of beat. It's cute. She has defeated the baby gate, which we had to put at the foot of the stairs because she kept climbing them. 

I am pretty sure Audrey's first "word" was uh oh. She says it when she drops something and it is adorable. I *think* she also says thank you but it is basically unintelligible. But she is always bringing us things and we say thank you (of course) and I have noticed she says it sometimes when I give her things. Well, I have noticed the inflection in what she says sounds like my thank yous. She says, basically, ah oo, which ... every baby says. Perhaps it is my imagination, but I'm going with it. She might also say ball. She will bring you a ball if you ask her to go get her ball. And she has been saying ba/baba for a while but on that one I am not sure if it is just babble or if she really gets it. (Oh what the heck -- my kid is smart! She says ball. Let's go with that one too.) 

She does NOT wave byebye. I think this is because she refuses to let me leave her anywhere so we don't get to practice this. She is also not a big fan of clapping, though she will grin hugely if you clap for her. (Ha.) She occasionally will deign to clap.

We are still nursing. I didn't really plan this. I don't necessarily want to keep nursing. But I am pretty sure Audrey does, as she seems unwilling to give it up. We'll see how this goes.

Her party is Saturday. I am excited. I can't believe she's 1. We love her. :)

[Pictures to come!] 

word vomit. or verbal diarrhea?

I have been actively resisting blogging. To be sure, there are things I have wanted to write about. Patrick and Audrey deserve updates. I sent myself an email (or several) to remind myself of cute things Patrick says. Another one, which I haven't yet documented, is vocation instead of vacation. And Audrey, being nearly 1, discovers something new and adorable nearly every day.

But -- and I think this is a result of my successful NaBloPoMo -- I dread logging in and writing. I am doing it tonight in an effort to get back to it. I LIKE looking back at things I've written. I SHOULD force myself to do it. But perhaps not every day.

Audrey has recently (like two weeks ago recently) decided that she can, in fact, fall asleep by herself, in her crib, and stay that way for at least 5 hours. I suspect that by this point she is supposed to be sleeping through the night, and I further suspect that her brother was doing just that, but for the baby who screamed for 75 minutes straight -- NO THANK YOU, MOTHER, I WILL NOT CRY IT OUT -- this is huge progress. It leaves me with time to do things. Time and two hands. Of course, I miss her curled up against me. No winning in parenthood. Sigh.

Patrick has reached a difficult point in his life where he is starting to realize that his 'friends' (the older neighborhood boys he idolizes) might not be his friends and they are mean and they don't necessarily want to play with him. It is heartbreaking and makes me want to throttle one of them in particular. I mean, I GET that you don't want to play with the annoying 4-year-old who asks you please, guys, not to jump so high on the trampoline because he's scared, but he's 4! You don't have to be MEAN about it, you little shit. Just tell him you can't play, or your mom is making you eat dinner or something. FUCKER. I have no idea how to handle this; I want him to go play outside rather than play video games inside, but I don't want him to go be rejected again. He sits pitifully at the end of the driveway and waits for someone to play with him. It is horrible. He doesn't want to play with the friends I suggest. He doesn't want to play with me. He doesn't want to make cookies. Or walk. I know this is life, but do you have to start experiencing it at 4? You have the rest of your life for that.

As for me, I have sort of found my groove staying at home. Sort of. The dishes are usually washed before I go to bed. The laundry is done, if not put away. There's usually a hot dinner on the table by 6 pm. I love not having to work. I love being at home with the kids. They drive me nuts some days but on the whole it's so much better than work. The one part where I really feel like I'm failing is getting Patrick to learn. We practice writing his name and learning his letters and whatnot. He loves the letter H. He can (mostly) count to 100 and he can recognize all the numbers. We try (and fail) to color inside the lines. I try to do crafty things. We read, although not enough. But he doesn't really like any of that, and I'm so scared of him being like me and hating every single second of school that I don't push it. We have one more year before he officially starts school; I think we will send him to a half-day program but that is TBD.

This has not turned out to be too terrible unless you were actually looking to be entertained. I have been Debbie Downer here for the most part and it is so boring unless you're me. Perhaps I will discuss the plans for Audrey's first birthday party the next time I get on here. HA. 

in which Patrick is awesome

 

Patrick: I don't want to go to high school.

Me: Okay, how about pre-k?

Patrick: No, I want to stay home with you forever.

Me: Forever? How will you meet girls?

Patrick: I'll go to Zumba with you. ... But be sure to bring some money. Because there are snack machines there, and dancing makes me hungry.

 

***

 

He brought me a daffodil yesterday because he thought it was "beautiful."

 

1/2

Audrey turned six months old on her first Christmas. She has mastered rolling over and scooting and is pretty good at sitting up. She has two teeth and has tried peaches (yes), green beans (yes) and bananas (no). 

Audrey is a Mover. She does. not. stop. Even while she is eating, she is rolling over, trying to stand up, generally not being still. She wants to go. She doesn't seem to have much interest in crawling right now (she will get up on all fours and lunge occasionally) -- because she wants to walk. She will hold your fingers and walk around the room. In fact, you had better walk her around the room, or else she will cry.

Audrey is a Talker. I'm being nice. I almost typed Crier. Oh. Oops. She has developed a high pitched squeal (I'm not a fan) and also uses a lower pitched growling (I still don't know if this is actually bad or just indifferent). When she is happy, she smiles a lot, but it takes a lot to make her actually laugh. Although she does this funny grunting 'Ha Ha Ha' thing and also occasionally barks/coughs and I think it is approximating laughter.

Audrey is NOT a Sleeper. She refuses to nap unless you are holding her. By 'you' I actually mean 'one of her parents.' She is not a fan of self-soothing.  

Audrey started crying as I was typing that last sentence. Three or four days ago. Ha. So I guess I better post this before next year and write more later. 

eleventeen

This is how Patrick counts to 20:

One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten, eleven, twelve, thirteen, fourteen, fifteen, eleventeen, eighteen, nineteen, twenty.

Every time.

Also, this morning, he asked me if he could call me Farty. So thanks for that, Billy Crystal. 

Four. FOUR!

Patrick turned four. The world didn't end. Yay!

At four, Patrick is ... well, he's Patrick. He says constructions instead of instructions and Optimus Prize instead of Optimus Prime. He still calls Two Face "Toothpaste."

Patrick does not like to do things. He is a homebody and is very good at entertaining himself. (I still worry that we are making him be TOO good at this by not forcing him to go to preschool while we deal with his high needs sister BUT since he just turned 4 he still has a year and a half before kindergarten so ... there's time.) It was in the 60s here the other day and I made him go outside and play with the neighbor kids. Once outside, he had a blast, at least until he decided he wanted his friend to come inside and play. I wanted him to be outside but I wouldn't have minded them coming inside; however, this kid's parents do not like him going inside when it's outside time.

"But I want to give him some of my juice," said Patrick.

"You can go get him one [Capri Sun]," I said.

"I'll go get us special juice," said the neighbor kid, and he disappeared inside. 

We waited. And waited. And my heart started to break a little because Patrick just wanted to share his juice and play with his friend, who did not seem to be coming back.I tried to distract Patrick. But he didn't want to walk. Or ride his lawn mower. He wanted to wait for his friend who had gone to get special juice. Eventually the kid came back out, no juice, only to be called back inside by his dad. AT LEAST Patrick did not feel betrayed since he came back, but there were tears. And not just from me. (Heh?)  

Anyway. At 4, Patrick loves cartoons and 'the Woody game' (Toy Story 3). His love affair with Thomas the Tank Engine is out of control. I just asked him what I should say about him on the computer. He said, "I like new houses." He is trying to convince me not to throw his gum away right now. The gum that fell out of his mouth when we were running the bases at the park this afternoon. It was covered in dirt but he insisted that we save it. I think he likes his sister, as long as she is well cared for and doesn't interfere with his life. He is probably in for a rude awakening, yes, but he does share his toys with her. The problem (for him, as she gets older) is that he shares the toys he doesn't want. We (by which I mean James) successfully navigated Patrick's first trip to the dentist. He was so afraid beforehand that he got into bed and cried himself to sleep (and I saw myself in almost-4-year-old boy form) but then once he got there he was fine. This does not bode well for his emotional status as it is just like me. He currently sleeps in a tent in the crib in the nursery, while Audrey gets the bed. He says it's too scary in his room. He likes to watch cartoons ('the trains that talk by themselves') on the iPad before he falls asleep. He tells you he can't pick up his toys because he'll get too tired. He has too many toys. We love him.  

Bullet Train

• So, there are several things we can take from NaBlogPoMo:
  • I should not participate. I completed a post every day but since then I have been actively avoiding my blog because I cannot bear to post.
  • I need a break from the children by 10pm. I looked back over my entries and in probably at least a third I am talking about how Audrey is high maintenance. She IS, but usually that doesn't bother me until late at night. I mean, I don't spend every day bitching about it. Except when I write late at night...
• We went to try to visit Santa again today. Patrick was excited. He talked it up. "Santa is at the town hall? I am going to tell him what I want. I have to think about it. Town hall, you said?" We got to the town hall. Well, back up. First I had to threaten him with getting a babysitter and taking Audrey to get him in the car. (Remember how I mentioned getting the stink blowed off? Patrick SERIOUSLY NEEDS THIS.) So we got to the town hall. He was still excited. We walked in the door. There was a very nice Christmas tree. Sitting on one side was Santa. Patrick cowered behind me. Santa seemed very friendly, however in Patrick's defense, Santa also seemed to be about 90 years old and I wondered if he was going to make it to Christmas. He also randomly had a half-inch-long thumbnail which was CREEPY. Anyway, Santa tried to get Patrick to talk to him. Patrick hid under my jacket. I asked Patrick to let go so I could get Audrey. He did not. The lady taking the picture asked Patrick if he would take a picture on the other side of the Christmas tree, opposite Santa. Patrick refused. The nice guy who was minding Santa said we could go get some cookies and milk and watch Frosty the Snowman and then maybe Patrick would want to talk to Santa. Patrick DID manage to tell Santa he wanted the remote control Molly and the wooden Cranky the Crane. Santa misunderstood and thought Patrick was telling him he was getting cranky. (Ha.) We went to go get cookies. Patrick cowered at the door. Eventually he cracked a smile at Frosty and chose a gingerbread house frame to take home. He wanted nothing to do with sitting down, having cookies and milk, or watching Frosty. He did say he would like some cookies to take home. Finally I gave up. As we were walking out, Santa had gotten up and was looking at the pictures on the walls. Patrick, who had been on one side of me closer to Santa, immediately crossed behind me to cower again. Oh well. Maybe next year.
• Dude, speaking of Santa, Christmas gifts are EXPENSIVE. Those toy manufacturers, they know their shit. Anyway, I have been saving for two months to buy Patrick the stuff he wants. I was all excited because I finally had it all. THEN he asked for Cranky. But before that, I sat down to wrap it. There are five gifts. FIVE. And one of those is for his birthday. How did this happen? How? Thomas the Tank Engine, that's how.
• I think I had more to say but apparently I can't even sustain a bullet point post.

Patrick's Story
Once upon a time there was a lttle boy who was blowing bubbles with his mommy and daddy. And his baby sister Audrey. Then a tiger came and jumped out at them. And tried to bite them. So the daddy went after him and tried to get him. But he bit him. The end.

Santa Train

We rode the Santa Train today. It's at the Museum of Life and Science in Durham. I guess this year is the 35th year they've done it. It's a cute idea; we liked it a lot last year. This year ... something was lacking. I'm not quite sure what it was. But it was like ... rush to get to train. Wait because they're running late. Stand in line. Hustle to get on. GO! There's Santa. Hey Santa. Bye Santa. Look for Rudolf. (I always want to spell it Rudolph but they had it with the F.) Mrs. Claus handed out coloring books but we were at the back of the train and by the time she got to us the train was pulling out. SAFETY VIOLATION.

Anyway. Patrick told THIS Santa that he wanted [Thomas the Tank Engines] Molly and "the red Victor," and these are actually much cheaper than what he told the mall Santa he wanted. Then he said to my mom, "I just didn't like the Santa at the mall but I liked this Santa."

p.s. I AM SO DONE WITH THIS EVERYDAY BLOGGING.