There are three of them, three guys with whom I guess I sort of have unfinished business, and I can't let them go.
I keep dreaming about them.
***
When we were driving back from the mountains, Norah and I had a conversation about fate, you know, whether things were meant to be, or if you could control your own destiny, as it were. And I don't know what I think. I like to think there's a grand plan, whether it's God, or fate, or destiny, whatever you want to call it. Things happen, where it's like there's just too much to be coincidental. Or a certain sequence happens, and you don't realize it at the time, but when you look back, it just amazes you how many things had to happen "just so" for the end result to be what it was. And you know how people say "it just happened"? Well, sometimes, that's true. Really. (Yeah, I know what you're thinking -- "What? You just tripped and happened to fall on top of him?" -- but I'm telling you how I feel.) It's like there's an unseen hand that's guiding you, and you don't really have a choice in the matter. So if I look at it that way, then I believe in fate, or God, or whatever your choice of religious entity is. But then there's the part where bad things happen to good people, and I just can't reconcile that. I know it's not my job to see the whole big picture, but it's hard to put your faith into something when you don't understand why bad things have to happen the way they do. For instance, why would God's plan include wars and terrorist attacks and suicide bombings and natural disasters where thousands of people die? I still hang on to the "everything happens for a reason" philosophy, but, damn, I don't get it.
***
If you don't already think I'm nuts, you're going to if you keep reading. I'm just saying. Because I am about to extoll the virtues of the sound of a candle burning. There is a sound, it's a sound of (contained) fire, that is just calming. When it's a big, roaring fire, or a campfire, or whatever, you have the logs rustling and settling, and it's awesome. But little candles, they burn silently, but they have this aura, this sound of silence (...or something), that is incredibly relaxing. Yeah, I don't know.
***
Oh, I know! This will lighten things up: I was watching the NFL Hall of Fame induction ceremony on Saturday (I think it was Saturday), because I happened to see they were unveiling Reggie White's bust, and then I thought hey! I think Troy Aikman is in this HoF class! And I always liked Troy Aikman. (I think I have a thing for stoic athletes.) So I was flipping back and forth, waiting for and then watching Troy's speech (he choked up!) and then, across the bottom of the screen comes the notification that the Johnsonville Brat Eating World Championship would not be seen at this time but would be shown in its entirety later on ESPN2. I mean, I know we are in an era where ESPN will televise the spelling bee, but come on. Brat eating world championship?? (Additional funny note: ESPN headline for the winner was "Best of the Wurst." Heh.)
***
I am in talks regarding the purchase of a 10-game plan for the Hurricanes for the 06-07 season. (I am NOT a bandwagon jumper, shut up. I have ticket stubs from like five years ago.) And I kept saying that I wanted the Penguins game, because I wanted to see Sidney Crosby, and maybe the Capitals game, and by the way does Paul Kariya still play for Nashville, and then I realized that hockey is going to start again in less than two months. It is weird!
