So, the Super Bowl. Sucked. (I guess it was better than last year but only because last year I had the stomach flu. Incidentally that was the last time I fit into my cute clearance J Crew corduroys.) I saw the first score by each team, and remembered to pay attention to the commercials during the first half. They were lame. I had no desire to watch Tom Petty at halftime. During the third quarter, the game was so ... lame that I started composing this blog entry in my head. After that, I fell asleep. I missed the Giants first touchdown but rallied at first-and-goal for the Patriots with three minutes left. They scored, and then the rest of the game happened.

This was awful. I hate all things Manning. I have hated Payton for as long as I can remember, dating back to his time at Tennessee, and I didn't even know anyone who had ties to the Vols then. That makes it sound like knowing people with ties would make me hate the Vols. This is not true. It's just a note. Anyway, I hate the Mannings with a passion usually reserved for dook. (Which, by the way, Ty Lawson, NICE TIMING. Except not.) So to have to watch Eli Manning win the MVP was disgusting. It made me want to vomit. Not to mention the fact that it would have been cool for a team to go undefeated. I don't much care for the Patriots, but, hello, Eli's team beat Brett's team and that is unforgivable. So it sucked.

That is all.

Posted by Molly at 9:29 PM EST

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About a month ago, there was talk of me being dispatched on a business trip to someplace I didn’t feel entirely comfortable going. For numerous reasons, some of which were safety-related. I told a couple of friends at work. “Tell your boss you’re pregnant,” they responded, one by one. I told a couple of friends outside of work. “Tell you’re boss you’re pregnant!” they exclaimed. I told my mom. “Why don’t you tell your boss you’re pregnant?” she said. Hmm. I’m not pregnant. I couldn’t tell my boss that. There are just some things that it’s not cool to lie about. That is one of them. It’s a sacred thing. And then, what happens a couple months down the road when I’m only getting bigger because I’m eating more and exercising less? I have to come up with something to explain that, and, well, that is some badass karma, right there. So anyway, that argument was out. I decided that if it came down to it, I could explain to my boss that we are trying and I don’t feel comfortable going. It didn’t come to that, but that’s not the point of this entry.

The point is, we are actually trying. Sort of. James’s sister had a baby in September, and his biological clock is ticking. Mine is not, exactly, but I would like to start sooner rather than later, especially in case there’s a problem, as this would give us more time to figure it out. However, we have not yet been married a year. We got married at the beginning of May. During the nine months (wow! ironic!) since then, he was unemployed for four months and then we bought a house. So finances right now are not our strong suit. I figured we would rent for another year and pay off our credit card debt and THEN buy a house, but our apartment raised the rent to a rather ridiculous level, and then there was this house and it was a good deal and it was so cute, and it was not in Durham County so we could actually raise children there someday, and I thought, if we don’t try for this house, I will always regret it. We tried. We got the house. Woo! But now we have no money. So while James would like me to stay at home with the baby, and while I think that is ideal, too, at least at first, there’s no way it could happen anytime soon.  

I quit using birth control and starting thinking of things like BDing and EWCM. I’m not ready to officially admit to TTC – but we are. (Heh. Loving the acronyms.) Not seriously; I’m not charting or otherwise trying to predict ovulation, just sort of noting things like EWCM. There are several reasons behind this lack of serious trying. One is that another month means another chance to save money. Two is that it means more time to be just the two of us. Plus the cat. And the dog. (Somebody told me that having a puppy is not unlike having a newborn. I don’t think I really believe that, although I can see some parallels. If it’s any indication, I’m not ready to have a baby. Although in my defense, I did not particularly want the puppy.) Couples vacations: still a possibility (if we had money). Rationally, there are lots and lots of reasons to wait. And then there is the fact that if we're not really trying, then there’s no reason to think anything's wrong or be disappointed if nothing happens.

But here’s the irrational, emotional thing: when I get my period, I’m disappointed.

Posted by Molly at 5:41 PM EST

Updated: Sun 02/03/2008 5:43 PM EST

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Hey, remember those halcyon days when I used to post things on here? And sometimes they were even entertaining? Remember those? I need to get back to that.

I have the years 2001-2006 pretty well covered (not necessarily here, obviously), down to the miniscule details that I might like to forget. I wrote those down precisely so I wouldn't forget. But about a year ago, Sarah came to visit, then I got my hair cut (which was symbolic in a stupid sort of way, although only I know why), then I met James, then I got a new car, then I got engaged, then I eloped to Vegas, then I got a house, then I got a puppy, and somewhere in there I stopped having the energy to write it all down. Which is really too bad, because those are all happy things that I should remember. (Well, except housetraining the puppy. It still has not happened.)

So my New Year's Resolution (what? I'm only a month late) is to write all that stuff down. Well, to write all that stuff down, as much as I remember it, and to start writing new stuff down as it happens so I don't get, you know, A YEAR behind. Also, I want to start a photo blog, a 365 days of Molly sort of thing. I went so far as to set it up. I just need the pictures. I got a new camera for Christmas. You would think this would be easy. But again with the energy. I would resolve to work out more but that won't happen so I won't even bother. Hee.

Wish me luck!

Posted by Molly at 2:47 PM EST

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I try not to talk about my job here because, well, I don’t love my job. At all. (If I talked about my job, there would be a lot more entries, but that’s neither here nor there.) I’ve been here for almost a year and a half now, which is an accomplishment for me. In that time, I’ve had two reviews.

In my first review, I was told that the company knew I was basically overqualified for my position, and that I had taken it as a foot-in-the-door kind of thing. If I stuck around for a year, I would probably get promoted. Several people said this to me. No guarantees, but probably. Six months after that, I was told that no matter how well I did, there would be no promotion for at least a year. (So…18 months from when I started.) This produced in me a distinct lack of motivation. Soon after that, I got married. At which point work was a distant second in my list of priorities.

In my second review, about a month ago, I was informed that I needed to be more assertive and take the initiative on things. This is a problem for me because of several reasons that I can’t discuss here, and also because I don’t want to be more assertive. I’m happy with me. I don’t want to change me. (Well, I want to lose weight and get fit but I’m not talking physically.) In order to move up, I am being told that I need to change who I am. And I am being told that I should do that. What if I don’t want to move up? What if I don’t mind the status quo because there are more important things in my life right now than my job? And anyway, why should I try, if they will just tell me that there won’t be a promotion anytime soon no matter how well I perform?

So to recap, I am supposed to change who I am so I can get promoted. Did they ask if I like who I am? No. Did they ask if I want to be promoted? No. They assumed that I did because that is the only acceptable way to be.

I was in a meeting last week, and one of our HR staffers happened to be in the same meeting. “[Company name] is a place where you can be who you are,” he said. This was among the few notes that I actually took, because it is completely untrue. Or I guess it is true if you are an overachieving workaholic. Which I used to be, when I worked in baseball, and there are so many things I could elaborate on regarding that whole tangent but suffice it to say I LOVED THAT JOB. Not always the people involved, like the ones who shit-canned me, but I LOVED THAT JOB.

Back to my point. Pure hypocrisy. If I can be who I am, then why do I need to change? Why do I need to become more assertive? Why do I need to take initiative? I do my job, and I do it well. This is agreed upon by my bosses. Why can’t that be enough?

P.S. I don't need a root canal but that's about the only good thing about the dental saga, next episode Sept 19 ("plan for a three-to-four-hour appointment").

Posted by Molly at 2:48 PM EDT

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+ + +

Dear Microsoft,

Yes, my password is expiring in six days. No, I do not want to change it now. IT IS NOT EXPIRING UNTIL SIX DAYS FROM NOW. Stupid.

Thanks,
Molly

+ + +

Dear Universe,

THANK YOU.

Love,
Molly

+ + +

Dear IRS,

I HATE YOU.

Not-so-fondly,
Molly

+ + +

Dear Bud Selig and Everyone at the Civil Rights Game in Memphis,

Shut up and let me watch the damn baseball game.

Remembering how much Memphis sucks,
Molly

+ + +

Dear Tony LaRussa,

Drink up!

Hoping the Cards will finish no better than third,
Molly

+ + +

Posted by Molly at 2:36 PM EDT

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The cat is coy. And I had too many Jell-O shots last night, and I am thinking all manner of things that I shouldn't be, and it is bad. Blah.

Posted by Molly at 8:06 PM EDT

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Shortly after I wrote my last post, I watched the North Carolina-Georgia Tech men's basketball game. Well, I watched the beginning. And lo and behold, there was Bobby Frasor in the starting lineup! Roy was trying to charm me, I was going to have to take back my somewhat veiled constructive criticism from the aforementioned post (which no one read, but that's beside the point). And the Tar Heels started well, and Frasor hit a lovely three-pointer, and they were up 10-5 at the first TV timeout. And then after the commercial break, there was Quentin Thomas. Followed by Ty Lawson, and they very nicely combined to piss away the lead, and Frasor only played five more minutes the entire game. So obviously I do not have to take back my original point. Yeah, I know I don't know the details, but if would appear that Ty got himself in the coach's doghouse and that's the only reason he didn't start, since he played the bulk of the minutes. And I also know that's it's not Ty Lawson's fault that the team lost, but still, Roy, still.

+++

On the other hand, the local hockey coach responded to being (un)named in my blog by starting a most fabulous lineup Friday night against the Penguins. I know that in hockey the starting lineup matters almost nothing, but still, it is fun to track. And I am very, very glad that I decided to purchase a solo ticket and go to that game, since it was stupidly not televised locally (sold out, TV guys, sold out, you could have done it) and it was one of the best games I have seen all season. Crosby becomes the youngest to 200 points, Canes win, can't get much better than that. Thankfully the crowd was not as into booing Brooks Orpik as they were in November (though they still did it), because that just got ANNOYING. Incidentally I think he was in the starting lineup but I couldn't quite tell because the Pens only had four guys out on the ice and one loitering (cowering away from the crowd's rage?) over by the bench.

While we're on the subject, I just saw this on ESPN.com:

ALL SID, ALL THE TIME
Nice job by NBC to rob Carolina and Atlanta fans of a chance to see their teams play in a crucial Southeast Division matchup this weekend. The game was, quite properly, originally scheduled to be one of NBC's national telecasts Sunday. But the network decided it wanted more Sidney Crosby and dumped the Thrashers-Hurricanes game, leaving no local television coverage in either market. Instead, fans in the East will get to see Crosby playing the NHL's worst team, Philadelphia. That'll be nice for all those Martin Biron fans. Memo to NBC: The NHL has 30 teams. We understand players named Hossa, Kovalchuk, Brind'Amour, Tkachuk, Ward, Staal and Stillman actually can play the game, too.
-- S.B.

I think Sidney Crosby is the greatest thing the NHL has going for it right now, but this pisses me off. I mean, the Hurricanes are still defending Stanley Cup champions. And they could still win another one this year, it's not outside the realm of possibility. Good thing ABC is my favorite national network. Take that, NBC.

One more thing: I was sitting in section 310 last night; first time I've been there. Next to me was another solo fan, an older guy who kept asking me things about the Canes and hockey, which I thought was slightly amusing, but then I did know the answers to all his questions. Next to him was a group of people who seemed to be season ticket holders. Well, the Hurricanes scored what turned out to be the game-winning goal with about eight and a half minutes left. With about six minutes left, the woman sitting closest to us got up for some reason and upon her return informed me that "we usually leave the games early." And I thought, "You are a very stupid woman," but I remained outwardly impassive. And then about a minute after that, the whole group cleared out. As she went by, the woman explained that "we have an hour's drive ahead of us." I hope that woman does not consider herself a hockey fan. You do not leave games early. You simply do not do it. And if you must do it, you do not leave a sold out, 3-2 game with a playoff atmosphere. I don't care how long your drive is. I do not like people like that.

+++

My crush winked at me Friday morning and I turned into a giggly high school girl. It was awful. He's probably married or something. (He doesn't wear a wedding ring, but that doesn't mean anything. I could have asked but I don't really want to know, because I still want to flirt with him. Hah. I always like the wrong ones.)

Posted by Molly at 11:50 AM EST

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Dear J—,

Please, please can you wear the cowboy hat again? Oh my God, it is so hot. And if you keep looking at me like that, you better do something about it. :)

Waiting (not-so) patiently,
Molly

Dear E—,

Thank you! I did not think that your presence would make me feel so much better, but it has. I mean, I always wondered what would happen, because it doesn't always work, but damn! Maybe it has to do with J—, you never know, but it any case, thanks!

Gratefully,
Molly

Dear Local Basketball Coach,

I wanted to name my new car after you, I did. I thought that "Roy" would be a good multi-sport name, what with Roy O and the Astros and Patrick "Wah" from hockey. And then you went and lost to Maryland. Sometimes I just get the feeling you want the dadgum team to lose 'cause thems too big for their britches. And that is not good! You can teach them a lesson in practice. In the game, if you need good defense, you put Bobby Frasor and Wes Miller in!

Go Heels,
Molly

P.S. Gotta love the WMiller reference!

Dear Local Hockey Announcer Whose Name Begins With T,

Drop the twig!

Still laughing with you, not at you,
Molly

Dear Local Hockey Coach,

Maybe you could consider changing up the lines on the power play? I mean, I know I don't really know anything, but how much worse can it get? Hey, at least you will get a full house on Friday for Sidney Crosby.

Keeping the faith,
Molly

P.S. Have you seen the new NHL commercials? They rock! The Staal vs. Staal pillow fight is first-rate!

I HATE YOU WITH AN ALL-CONSUMING PASSION THAT GROWS BY THE MINUTE. But then, you knew that, didn't you?

As always,
Molly

Dear A—,

You better be good. You know I'll get in touch with you as soon as I can, even though we both know I shouldn't. And even though it will be harder now.

Maybe it was(n't just) Memphis,
Molly

P.S. "We can't have that," MY ASS. ... Heh.

Dear A—,

That one wasn't about you; this one is. Anyway, you win, by which I mean you lose. It is like that line in Legends of the Fall when Alfred says, "You have won her. I am bringing her home," and it's just so damn sad. Actually it's not really like that at all but that line has always stayed with me. Haha.

Hope you're doing well,
Molly

P.S. Brad Pitt was hot in that movie, but it's all gone now. Now he is a big loser.

When you said it was funny-ironic that I bought a ticket to the hockey game and you bought a ticket to the Broadway show, all I could think about was that time I went to Lowe's and bought orchids for the boy who had just bought hockey tickets for me.

Wishing we'd had better timing,
Molly

Dear W—/H—,

Why the hell didn't you tell me? Why the hell did I have to hear it from Sarah, who read about it in the damn Des Moines newspaper? And then you give me that requisite throwaway "hottie" line, and then you drop off the face of the earth once again. Why?

No, really, I'm over it,
Molly

Posted by Molly at 8:10 PM EST

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I have been meaning to write a hockey entry for nearly a month, since the All-Star Game, which was Jan. 24, but I bet you didn't know that, which was precisely the point I was going to make, how the NHL has this great product but nobody knows about it. And awesome, funny commercials, that you only see if you are already a hockey fan, because they are either on the regional broadcast of your local team, or the Versus network, which used to be OLN, which also televises the Tour de France. Which should tell you something. And I was going to discuss Hockey in the South and argue that a place like Tampa Bay, where I don't think it even gets cold enough to snow, should not have a hockey team. And Dallas, okay, it snows or ices occasionally there, but no way should MINNESOTA have lost a team to TEXAS. But I have just not gotten around to it and then I have emailed most of my arguments to my friend Robert and now I just do not seem to have the motivation to write. So I will post some pictures!

First up: This is the section where the seats for our 10-game season ticket plan are located. The woman on the far left, the one whose jersey you can't quite see, she brings the jerseys and hands them out to the rest of her party. I am not sure if I should try to shake her hand and bow down to the obsession or if I should run in the opposite direction. Certainly, I have a favorite player, and my brother has a name and number on his jersey, and I have been known to be obsessive about things ... but ... this just takes it to a whole new level. The most awesome thing about this woman is that her jersey has Babchuk's name in Cyrillic. And also? This particular game? He had been sent down to the minors, refused to report, and been suspended. He was then reinstated but still in the minors. Now that, that is dedication (by the fan, not, obviously, by Babchuk, whose refusal to report is LAME).

Next: my new car. This is a lovely juxtaposition with the new car in front and my old car behind it. In my parents' driveway. The old car is still sitting there. I need to take it to Carmax and see what they will give me for it. Hopefully enough to pay my stupid income taxes so I can afford the first car payment. (Stupid taxes.) One other thing about the picture is that you cannot tell, but it was snowing when it was taken. Well, flurrying, I suppose, would be more accurate, but the fact is, it was 45 degrees outside and there was frozen white precipitation falling from the sky. It was something of a shock.

Posted by Molly at 7:14 PM EST

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Today, I wrote a check for $10,000.00. Which is a lot of zeroes. (Also I still have my Texas address on my checks.)

Happy Valentine's Day to me!

Posted by Molly at 11:26 PM EST

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