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First, I give up on winter. Then I declare the Carolina Hurricanes dead to me. Then the Hurricanes win in Boston, which they never do. Then I woke up this morning to this:
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Happy VD!
P.S. Bought cheap-seat tickets for the Canes game tonight. Go Pens! ;)
Canes trade stalwarts of title season
Sure, it's a business decision. But if Mike Commodore is no longer on the team, then I'm no longer a fan.
Jim Rutherford has replaced Uncle Drayton at the top of my most-hated sports GMs list (of two).
I realize this is petty and unsportsmanlike. I have no problem with that. I am perfectly able to hate a team and like a player on it (case in point: New York Mets, Tom Glavine; rooted for the Mutts every fifth day, thank goodness that's over) and to hate a player and like the team he plays for (case in point: Greg Maddux, Atlanta Braves; rooted for the Braves, hard, for YEARS and have never, ever liked Maddux. Will be rooting for the Braves again this year and still dislike Maddux).
So, while I will hope for the best for the few remaining Hurricanes players who I like, I will no longer root for the team. I hope they miss the playoffs. Go Sens. (I'm kidding with that last bit. I'll root for Commodore and Stillman, not the Sens. I'll be a Penguins fan now. I always loved Super Mario and Crosby is awesome.)
[Note: Lest you think I am a bandwagon jumper, I rooted for the Hurricanes before they won the Stanley Cup; I have the ticket stubs to prove it. It's beside the point that I usually went to games when they played Anaheim and I could watch Paul Kariya and the Finnish Flash. ;)]
[Final Note: The Canes and their GM can redeem themselves if they sign Commodore back in the off-season. He'll be an unrestricted free agent.]
8:30 – Arrive.
8:33 – Stare longingly at tin of Italian Cappuccino mix on desk. Have resolved to give up coffee for Lent.
8:36 – Wonder if, rather, should give up Starbucks for Lent and still be able to drink cappuccino from mix on desk.
8:39 – Decide to stick with giving up coffee, as have planned Starbucks run for Thursday, and can always order tea at Starbucks.
9:25 – Make travel arrangements for boss’s trip to Houston. He has requested the Marriott on Westheimer, the JW Marriott, which is sold out. Make reservation at the Marriott West Loop. Feel physical ache remembering delivering media packets to opposing team hotels. Often the Galleria Marriotts. Miss Houston and certain person there who has since moved.
9:32 – Meeting. Invite was sent yesterday for 30-minute meeting titled “Three Slides.” Spend first 20 minutes of meeting trying to figure out what in the world meeting is about. Finally figure it out in time to nod agreement, then meeting is over.
10:20 – Try to give insurance information to automated response line; outcome uncertain. Successfully sign up for online service and discover overdue balance listed on account, despite the fact that this was paid IN NOVEMBER.
10:22 – Call customer service at medical center. On hold for 20 minutes. Helpful customer service rep says, “Oh, yes, we show a zero balance. But sometimes it takes a few days for it to show up.” Sure, a few like 90.
11:03 – Drive co-worker #1, who lacks transportation, to local restaurant to pick up catering order for lunch meeting.
11:23 – Notice local restaurant has a coffee bar.
11:24 – Note that coffee bar has chai tea latte. Consider ordering it. Co-worker #1 says to charge it on company card.
11:25 – Saved by the arrival of the catering order. Nice employee at local restaurant carries it to car; no time for coffee. Or tea.
11:56 – Get “pre-meeting leftovers” from catering order. Woo! Free lunch! Debate merits of chocolate cookie or chocolate chip cookie. Decide on chocolate chip.
11:58 – Remember that homemade chocolate chip cookies are at … home already. Trade with co-worker #2 for chocolate cookie.
12:15 – While eating lunch, Google current and former Astros employees. Strike out. Why must they have such common names?
1:20 – Copier is not working. Will make copies, but they are all crooked. Commiserate with co-worker #3 who has had previous success sweet-talking copier.
1:26 – Co-worker #3 asks opinion on curtain panels from IKEA. Co-worker #4 comes up and, as UNC alums, we discuss the upcoming game against the evil empire.
1:45-4:45 – Work.
4:45 – Realize have not put up annual link to Ian Williams’ Insiders Guide to Hating Dook, perhaps best work of non-fiction ever written. Rectify situation. Also send link to co-worker #2, who did not attend North Carolina but nonetheless understands what it is like to hate the evil empire.
5:10 – Leave.
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Sure, the game sucked last night, but it’s not like we didn’t all see it coming. As soon as I heard the words “Ty Lawson” and “high ankle sprain” in the same sentence, I knew the outcome of this game. And I heard Eric Montross say this morning that it’s not like having Ty Lawson would have won the Tar Heels the game, but I’m not so sure I believe him. Look, I’ve never been a big fan of Lawson’s; as far as North Carolina point guards go, I liked King Rice better, but the dude is GOOD. And the sports radio guys have been trying to tell me that Quentin Thomas would be the starting point guard on almost any other team in the country, and I just don’t buy it. He’s not even #2 if Bobby Frasor’s healthy. Anyway, who knows what would have happened had Lawson played, but it would have been a different ballgame.
Still a classic: Ian Williams Insiders Guide to Hating Duke
And: Why I Still Can't Stand the Dookies
"I wouldn't trade places if the Buddha himself showed up wearing a navy blue unitard."
Go Heels!
We got the puppy something like three weeks ago. I have just looked at the calendar and I think it will be three weeks tomorrow but I am not sure because it really, really feels like forever. I feel like we have had that dog forever and there is no escape from him. You will note that I have not used his name. This is because I feel no attachment to him. I am worried.
I had rabbits growing up. This was a mistake. Rabbits can apparently be litterbox trained, but if anyone knew this at the time, they didn’t tell my mom, so we had the cages and the cedar chips and it smelled, so the rabbits were eventually confined to little hutches in the backyard. And then eventually we stopped getting rabbits. Then we got a cat. My dad has always hated cats, but my brother and I convinced my mom that we needed a pet, and since Dad thought we shouldn’t get a dog since we didn’t have a fenced-in yard…we brought home a cat one day. Surprise, Dad!
Almost two years ago, I went with Nancy to the animal shelter so she could look at puppies. And I thought, hmm, maybe I should get a cat. They are pretty self-reliant, they go in the litterbox, my apartment is okay with them, etc. I found a cat that day; she sat in my arms and purred, and she licked my arm. A lot. It was cute. I didn’t get her that day; I went home and thought about it. And thought about it. And went back to visit her, and she was still there. So I thought about it some more. And then I told myself that if she was still there next week, I would get her. She was, so I did. She is a good cat. A little annoying, but I generally enjoy her company, and vice versa. It took her a while to warm up to James, but she has.
She has not, however, warmed up to the puppy. She hisses at him and bats at his face. He mostly thinks it is a game and tries to play with her, and she hisses again. It is sort of amusing to watch. I sort of think she should lay off, because the puppy is obviously scared of her; she has won. But then I think, wait, I have not adjusted to the puppy, why should the cat?
James wanted a dog. I put him off by saying we could get a dog once we had a house. At the time, I thought this was a long way off. Turns out, I was wrong. As soon as we moved in, he was on the lookout. “I’ll just stop by the pound to have a look,” he’d say. I went with him once, and it was clear that we have wildly different tastes in what constitutes an acceptable dog. Trying to compromise and all, I said we could look at the puppy when James found him online. I reasoned that I did not ever want a big dog (as James does), but maybe if we got a puppy when he was still cute, then I would like him enough by the time he got big that we could keep him. I reasoned that I would be attached to him by the time he reached adulthood.
We went to the foster home. James fell in love with the puppy right away. There was nothing I could do. And I didn’t see the point, anyway. I had agreed to it, I was fine with it, and if we didn’t get this dog, it just meant more time spent looking for one. Plus, he was cute.
Jake (see! I used his name finally) is still cute. However, I think he has started peeing on the floor just to spite us (me?). It is working. It is a vicious cycle. The vet said we should crate him at night, and then put him in the bathroom while we were at work during the day. Then, as he learned to hold it, we could reward him by letting him out under supervision for hours at a time. At first, this seemed to work. But now, I know he CAN hold it, yet he refuses to. So I can’t reward him. So he gets mad that he is confined and pees in the bathroom to spite me. Vicious. Cycle.
As I return to my point (TM Tripp Tracy), I have not formed an attachment to the dog, and I am worried. I want to like him. I do. I want to not think how he is ruining my bathroom and my life and chewing up everything and I can’t go on vacation ever, even if I had money because I cannot afford to board him somewhere. Do you see how this is bad?
Also, I don’t have a snappy ending. Maybe I will edit this later. But probably not. Anyway, if you have any suggestions on housetraining a puppy, PLEASE send them my way.
So, the Super Bowl. Sucked. (I guess it was better than last year but only because last year I had the stomach flu. Incidentally that was the last time I fit into my cute clearance J Crew corduroys.) I saw the first score by each team, and remembered to pay attention to the commercials during the first half. They were lame. I had no desire to watch Tom Petty at halftime. During the third quarter, the game was so ... lame that I started composing this blog entry in my head. After that, I fell asleep. I missed the Giants first touchdown but rallied at first-and-goal for the Patriots with three minutes left. They scored, and then the rest of the game happened.
This was awful. I hate all things Manning. I have hated Payton for as long as I can remember, dating back to his time at Tennessee, and I didn't even know anyone who had ties to the Vols then. That makes it sound like knowing people with ties would make me hate the Vols. This is not true. It's just a note. Anyway, I hate the Mannings with a passion usually reserved for dook. (Which, by the way, Ty Lawson, NICE TIMING. Except not.) So to have to watch Eli Manning win the MVP was disgusting. It made me want to vomit. Not to mention the fact that it would have been cool for a team to go undefeated. I don't much care for the Patriots, but, hello, Eli's team beat Brett's team and that is unforgivable. So it sucked.
That is all.
About a month ago, there was talk of me being dispatched on a business trip to someplace I didn’t feel entirely comfortable going. For numerous reasons, some of which were safety-related. I told a couple of friends at work. “Tell your boss you’re pregnant,” they responded, one by one. I told a couple of friends outside of work. “Tell you’re boss you’re pregnant!” they exclaimed. I told my mom. “Why don’t you tell your boss you’re pregnant?” she said. Hmm. I’m not pregnant. I couldn’t tell my boss that. There are just some things that it’s not cool to lie about. That is one of them. It’s a sacred thing. And then, what happens a couple months down the road when I’m only getting bigger because I’m eating more and exercising less? I have to come up with something to explain that, and, well, that is some badass karma, right there. So anyway, that argument was out. I decided that if it came down to it, I could explain to my boss that we are trying and I don’t feel comfortable going. It didn’t come to that, but that’s not the point of this entry.
The point is, we are actually trying. Sort of. James’s sister had a baby in September, and his biological clock is ticking. Mine is not, exactly, but I would like to start sooner rather than later, especially in case there’s a problem, as this would give us more time to figure it out. However, we have not yet been married a year. We got married at the beginning of May. During the nine months (wow! ironic!) since then, he was unemployed for four months and then we bought a house. So finances right now are not our strong suit. I figured we would rent for another year and pay off our credit card debt and THEN buy a house, but our apartment raised the rent to a rather ridiculous level, and then there was this house and it was a good deal and it was so cute, and it was not in Durham County so we could actually raise children there someday, and I thought, if we don’t try for this house, I will always regret it. We tried. We got the house. Woo! But now we have no money. So while James would like me to stay at home with the baby, and while I think that is ideal, too, at least at first, there’s no way it could happen anytime soon.
I quit using birth control and starting thinking of things like BDing and EWCM. I’m not ready to officially admit to TTC – but we are. (Heh. Loving the acronyms.) Not seriously; I’m not charting or otherwise trying to predict ovulation, just sort of noting things like EWCM. There are several reasons behind this lack of serious trying. One is that another month means another chance to save money. Two is that it means more time to be just the two of us. Plus the cat. And the dog. (Somebody told me that having a puppy is not unlike having a newborn. I don’t think I really believe that, although I can see some parallels. If it’s any indication, I’m not ready to have a baby. Although in my defense, I did not particularly want the puppy.) Couples vacations: still a possibility (if we had money). Rationally, there are lots and lots of reasons to wait. And then there is the fact that if we're not really trying, then there’s no reason to think anything's wrong or be disappointed if nothing happens.
But here’s the irrational, emotional thing: when I get my period, I’m disappointed.
Hey, remember those halcyon days when I used to post things on here? And sometimes they were even entertaining? Remember those? I need to get back to that.
I have the years 2001-2006 pretty well covered (not necessarily here, obviously), down to the miniscule details that I might like to forget. I wrote those down precisely so I wouldn't forget. But about a year ago, Sarah came to visit, then I got my hair cut (which was symbolic in a stupid sort of way, although only I know why), then I met James, then I got a new car, then I got engaged, then I eloped to Vegas, then I got a house, then I got a puppy, and somewhere in there I stopped having the energy to write it all down. Which is really too bad, because those are all happy things that I should remember. (Well, except housetraining the puppy. It still has not happened.)
So my New Year's Resolution (what? I'm only a month late) is to write all that stuff down. Well, to write all that stuff down, as much as I remember it, and to start writing new stuff down as it happens so I don't get, you know, A YEAR behind. Also, I want to start a photo blog, a 365 days of Molly sort of thing. I went so far as to set it up. I just need the pictures. I got a new camera for Christmas. You would think this would be easy. But again with the energy. I would resolve to work out more but that won't happen so I won't even bother. Hee.
Wish me luck!
I try not to talk about my job here because, well, I don’t love my job. At all. (If I talked about my job, there would be a lot more entries, but that’s neither here nor there.) I’ve been here for almost a year and a half now, which is an accomplishment for me. In that time, I’ve had two reviews.
In my first review, I was told that the company knew I was basically overqualified for my position, and that I had taken it as a foot-in-the-door kind of thing. If I stuck around for a year, I would probably get promoted. Several people said this to me. No guarantees, but probably. Six months after that, I was told that no matter how well I did, there would be no promotion for at least a year. (So…18 months from when I started.) This produced in me a distinct lack of motivation. Soon after that, I got married. At which point work was a distant second in my list of priorities.
In my second review, about a month ago, I was informed that I needed to be more assertive and take the initiative on things. This is a problem for me because of several reasons that I can’t discuss here, and also because I don’t want to be more assertive. I’m happy with me. I don’t want to change me. (Well, I want to lose weight and get fit but I’m not talking physically.) In order to move up, I am being told that I need to change who I am. And I am being told that I should do that. What if I don’t want to move up? What if I don’t mind the status quo because there are more important things in my life right now than my job? And anyway, why should I try, if they will just tell me that there won’t be a promotion anytime soon no matter how well I perform?
So to recap, I am supposed to change who I am so I can get promoted. Did they ask if I like who I am? No. Did they ask if I want to be promoted? No. They assumed that I did because that is the only acceptable way to be.
I was in a meeting last week, and one of our HR staffers happened to be in the same meeting. “[Company name] is a place where you can be who you are,” he said. This was among the few notes that I actually took, because it is completely untrue. Or I guess it is true if you are an overachieving workaholic. Which I used to be, when I worked in baseball, and there are so many things I could elaborate on regarding that whole tangent but suffice it to say I LOVED THAT JOB. Not always the people involved, like the ones who shit-canned me, but I LOVED THAT JOB.
Back to my point. Pure hypocrisy. If I can be who I am, then why do I need to change? Why do I need to become more assertive? Why do I need to take initiative? I do my job, and I do it well. This is agreed upon by my bosses. Why can’t that be enough?
P.S. I don't need a root canal but that's about the only good thing about the dental saga, next episode Sept 19 ("plan for a three-to-four-hour appointment").
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Dear Microsoft,
Yes, my password is expiring in six days. No, I do not want to change it now. IT IS NOT EXPIRING UNTIL SIX DAYS FROM NOW. Stupid.
Thanks,
Molly
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Dear Universe,
THANK YOU.
Love,
Molly
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Dear IRS,
I HATE YOU.
Not-so-fondly,
Molly
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Dear Bud Selig and Everyone at the Civil Rights Game in Memphis,
Shut up and let me watch the damn baseball game.
Remembering how much Memphis sucks,
Molly
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Dear Tony LaRussa,
Drink up!
Hoping the Cards will finish no better than third,
Molly
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