who I am
You know how self-improvement books tell you that if you lack self-confidence, you should just fake it, and then other people will think you’re confident, and eventually you will become self-confident? No? Just me, then. So I was thinking, hey, maybe if I fake being over TLB, then eventually I will just get over him. Except then it occurred to me that (a) I still lack self-confidence, and I have been faking that (trying to fake it?) for several years now, and (b) that’s another way of saying “if you pretend it’s not there, then maybe it will go away” AND I HATE THAT. So I am not sure about that idea, after all. I mean, if you pretend it’s not there, it might very well go away, but not typically because you pretended it wasn’t there.

In other news: it is very warm here. I love chocolate chip cookie dough. Mechanical bull riding apparently requires the use of muscles that I was not aware I had.

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Another day, another survey, because, well, what the hell.

1. What does your MySpace quote mean?
It's a phrase I put in an 11th grade English paper about Ethan Frome, to see if our teacher was paying attention. She was, but I still got an A.

2. Elaborate on your default photo.
Well. It's some flowers I got for Christmas and I played with the pic in photoshop and I thought it looked really cool.

3. Who is the first person on your top 8?
I don't know. You know, I only have 5.

4. What's your current relationship status?
Single.

5. What exactly are you wearing right now?
A tank top, a sweatshirt and workout shorts.

6. What is your current problem?
Warren. And the Tar Heels. Which is actually one problem, though it might seem like two.

7. What do you love most?
For a what, not a who...my bed. Ha! Haha!

8. What makes you most happy?
Hugging somebody that I'm in love with. Or in lust with, even. Or, hey! Chocolate chip cookie dough.

9. If you could go back in time, and change something, what would it be?
I would have danced with David at the seventh grade dance.

10. Ever have a near death experience?
No.

11. Name an obvious quality you have?
I have a great rack. That's pretty obvious.

12. What's the name of the song that's stuck in your head right now?
"What It Takes"

13. Any celeb you would marry?
You know what, I really don't think so.

14. Who will cut and paste this first?
No one. Unless Sarah gets bored.

15. Name someone with the same birthday as you.
Chris Stollings. And Shakespeare.

16. Do you have a crush on someone?
I would have to go with no. I wouldn't mind developing one, though. I need new eye candy at work.

17. Have you ever vandalized someone's private property?
No. I'm a good girl.

18. Have you ever been in a fight?
Physically, only with my brother. My dad and I had screaming matches when I was younger.

19. Have you ever sung in front of a large audience?
No. I can't sing. The last time I tried was in chorus in fifth grade.

20. What's the first thing you notice about the OPPOSITE sex?
Face.

22. Have you ever hurt yourself on purpose?
No.

23. Say something totally random about you?
My mind is a total blank.

24. Has anyone ever said you looked like a celebrity?
There's a girl at work who has told me several times that I look like the little girl in "Corinna, Corinna." That's the only one I can think of right now.

25. How old are you?
25. Like the question!

26. Do you wear a watch? What kind?
Yes. It's silver, and it's Fossil. Got it for Christmas two years ago.

27. Do you have anything pierced?
Yes. Ears, two holes in the left ear (for the sperm earring) and one in the right; belly button.

28. Do you have any tattoos?
No.

30. Do you like to shop?
Yes. But lately it's limited to mostly window shopping.

31. What was the last thing you paid cash for?
I think I bought some coffee, but it was a couple of weeks ago. I never have cash.

32. What was the last thing you paid for with a credit card?
The fifth installment of my autobiographical novel. Or maybe I put gas in my car, I forget.

33. Who was the last person you spoke to on the phone?
Some clueless customer.

34. What is on your desktop background?
A Central Park bench.

35. What is on the background of your cell?
It's either Heather giving Brooks bunny ears in the break room at work, or Alex's plants. I can't decide which one I want up there so I keep switching them.

36. Do you like redheads?
No? I don't really dislike them, though. Memories of Matt Cline there, thanks.

37. Do you know any twins?
No. At least not well enough that it counts. I know of some twins.

38. Do you have any weird relatives?
Yeah. My family is from western Pennsylvania. (Heh.)

39. What was the last movie you watched?
I need to go see a movie. The last one I went to see was Underworld: Evolution. The last one I watched was The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants, because Nancy told me it was good, but it was so awful that I couldn't finish it.

40. What was the last book you read?
Some romance novel strip. Also I am in the middle of River of Doubt, about Theodore Roosevelt.

41. Did you or are you planning to go to college?
I did. And I might again.

42. What is your favorite pair of pants that you own?
Any of my pajama pants. I love pajama pants.

43. Do you like to party?
Sure.

44. How many keys are on your keychain?
Four.

45. What makeup do you wear on a daily basis?
If I have nothing else, I must have mascara.

46. Is your AIM away message on?
No.

47. If you could eat one meal for the rest of your life, what would it be?
Shepherd's pie from that pub in Memphis, the name of which I can't remember. Dan McGuinness?

48. What curse word do you use the most?
I have been dropping a lot of f-bombs lately.

49. Do you own an iPod?
No. My mom hinted that she might be getting me one for my birthday though.

50. Who on your Myspace "Top 8" do you talk to the most?
Sarah.

51. What time is your alarm clock set for?
7:30 am. But it will be off tomorrow.

52. Have you ever bid for something on ebay?
Yes. And I've won stuff, too. Something like 41 things, since 1999, I think. I LOVE EBAY.

53. Do you wear flip-flops even when its cold outside?
How are we defining cold? Maybe I have.

54. Where do you buy your groceries from?
Target. Cheap! Also Harris Teeter and Wal-Mart. I'm flexible.

55. Would you rather take the picture or be in the picture?
Probably take it. Unless it's me and a hot guy, or Kurt Browning, for example. Then I want to be in it.

56. What was the last tv show you watched?
Extreme Home Makeover.

57. Do any of your friends have children?
Yes. My best friend from high school had a baby last month and I am supposed to meet him for the first time on Tuesday. It's a little weird, I have to admit.

58. If you won the lottery, what's the first thing you would buy?
A house. I don't know.

59. Has anyone ever called you lazy?
Yes. And sometimes they are correct.

60. Do you ever take medication to help you fall asleep faster?
Only if I have a cold and it's NyQuil. Cherry flavored.

61. What CD is currently in your CD player?
Aerosmith. "Big Ones."

62. Do you prefer regular or chocolate milk?
Regular. Skim.

63. Has anyone told you a secret this week?
Yes. I might tell, though, because it's really funny.

64. When was the last time someone hit on you?
Hell, half the time I don't notice. Friday night at the bar?

65. What did you have for dinner?
A burrito and two homemade Sally Lunn muffins. And chocolate chip cookie dough!

66. Do you wear hoodies often?
Yes. It's my default lazy wear.

67. What color is your car?
Something red.

68. Can you whistle?
No. I cannot.

69. What is your favorite Christmas/winter movie?
Love Actually.

70. Do you make your own jewelry?
Lord, no. I only wear earrings (usually the same ones, silver hoops) and my watch and my ring.

71. Have you ever participated in a protest?
Not officially.

72. Who was the last person to call you?
Nancy.

73. What is your favorite ride at an amusement park?
Um. Thunder Mountain.

74. Where's your favorite place to vacation?
I do like the beach. I want to go lots of places though. I need a vacation. And money, I need that, too.

75. Have you ever dated one of your best friends?
No. But one of my best friends is a guy I used to date.

76. What area code are you in right now?
919.

77. Did you watch cartoons as a child?
Yes.

78. How big is your local mall?
Fucking huge.

79. What is your job title?
Well apparently it is going to change within the next three weeks, to something there is no description for. Hmm.

80. How many siblings do you have?
One.

81.Would you ever sky dive?
I wouldn't rule it out.

82. What are you allergic to?
Cigarette smoke. Lee.

83. What is your biggest regret?
I plead the fifth. I've always tried not to have any, and I haven't up until recently, and I'm trying not to regret that, so ... that's where I stand.

84. Have you ever had Jamba Juice?
Yes, I have. In Houston.

85. When was the last time you laughed so hard your sides hurt?
Friday night, when Nancy dressed me. Literally.

87. Do you own any band t-shirts?
Um. No.

88. What is your favorite candle scent?
Right now I would have to go with "Warm Apple Pie."

89. How many aunts and uncles do you have?
Well, there's Chris and Jeff, Ticky and Linda, Laurel, Larry and Andrea...so seven, all total.

90. When was your last plane ride?
I flew back from Seattle, by way of Chicago, in December. Next up: Des Moines, end of April.

91. Do you crack your knuckles?
No.

92. How many chairs are at your dining room table?
Four.

93. What is your favorite salad dressing?
Ranch.

94. Do you read for fun?
Yeah, but it's harder now that I work in a bookstore, and you wouldn't think this would be the case. Would you?

95. Can you speak any languages other than English?
No. This is where my four years of high school Spanish got me. I can read some of it.

96. Where is your cell phone?
On my coffee table.

97. Do you do your own dishes?
Well...yeah.

98. What color is your bedroom painted?
White.

99. Are your parents divorced?
No. They will celebrate their 31st anniversary in August.

100. Have you ever cried in public?
Entirely too many times, yes.

101. Do you have a desktop computer or a laptop?
Laptop. And I love it.

102. Which do you make: wishes or plans?
Both. I like wishes better, but you have to have the backup for when they don't come true.

103. Are you always trying to learn new things?
Not really. Sometimes I like to stagnate.

104. What messenger programs do you have?
I have AIM but I don't use it. I text message people on my phone now.

105. Do you shower on a daily basis?
Yes.

106. Are you currently wanting any piercings or tattoos?
No.

107. Do you believe that the guy should pay on the first date?
I'd go with whoever does the asking. Or you could go dutch, that's cool with me. I like chivalry, though.

108. Can you skip rocks?
Nope.

109. Have you ever been to Jamaica?
No.

110. What do you like to snack on at the movie theatres?
Junior mints.

111. Who was your favorite teacher?
Mr. Jones.

112. Have you ever dated someone out of your race?
No. Unless you count Mike, who called me at midnight in the fifth grade. Yeah, Dad didn't like that so much.

113. What is the weather like?
Too warm for March 12th but okay now that it's night.

114. Would you ever date someone covered in tattoos?
Sure, if I liked him.

115. Do you have an online journal?
Heh.

116. Did you ever play Capture the Flag in school?
No I did not.

117. What was your favorite class in high school?
AP Psych. Sports medicine was fun, too, but only because we did absolutely nothing worthwhile. Oh, wait, I did get CPR certified in that class.

118. Do you sleep on your side, tummy, or back?
Back. Or side. Then I roll over.

119. What personality trait is a must-have in the opposite sex?
Sarcasm.

120. Have you ever been attracted to someone physically unattractive?
Well I have been attracted to someone who "is a monkey" according to Nancy, but I have always found the people I'm attracted to attractive. Heh.

121. When was the last time you slept on the floor?
I dunno. Does an air mattress count? 'Cause that would be Feb. 14, I think. (Oh the irony.)

122. What is your favorite alcoholic drink?
Probably Malibu and pineapple. And, no, it doesn't taste like suntan lotion, and how do you know what suntan lotion tastes like anyway?

123. If you were born the opposite sex, what would your name have been?
Shawn.

124. Do you like your living arrangement?
Yes and no. I love my apartment, and I love being away from my family but still close by. I don't necessarily love living alone. Although sometimes I do.

125. Has anyone ever called you spoiled?
Yes. Mostly my brother. But he is WAY more spoiled than I am, being younger than me.

126. Did you ever go to the same school as your parents?
Same university. My dad and I even attended at the same time for a semester or two, my freshman year.

127. How many hours of sleep do you need to function?
Four, minimum. On a regular basis, I need eight.

128. How much is gas where you live right now?
I think I saw $2.41 at the gas station across the street from my apartment. But the place I go was $2.31 when I passed it on my way home from work.

129. What was the last thing to scare you?
A phone call I got on Wednesday.

130. Do you own a Playstation?
I have a PS2 that Warren gave me for my 21st birthday. Sort of. I use it as my DVD player.

131. How many times have you brushed your teeth today?
Once.

132. How many pairs of shoes do you own?
A lot. I'm not sure. I have all these cute open-toed shoes that I can't wear to work, and it pains me.

133. Are your days full and fast-paced?
Not exactly, but I never seem to have enough time for the things I need to do. Perhaps because I answer 135 questions online. Maybe?

134. Did you ever get in trouble for talking in class?
Yeah. Once. And I wasn't even talking at the time. But the teacher took five points off a test. I think I got a 95.

135. Is there carpet, wood or tile in the room you're currently in?
Carpet. And a pretty, pretty rug from Pottery Barn.